Are you a pseudo-extrovert? Or do you love alone time but also enjoy spending time with your selected crowd? If you do, chances are, you could be an extroverted introvert.
Simply put, being an “extroverted introvert” means you’re predominantly an introvert who projects extroverted traits under specific circumstances. You’re always reserved and seeking calmness deep within, but are also sociable when you want and need to be.
Your bubbly demeanor leads your friends to see you as outgoing and extroverted. But little did they know, days come where socializing turns a bit too much and you’d feel like shutting off doors to everyone.
Back in high school and college, I often start funny banters with my closest friends. I’d be loud, talkative, and playful on one side. But alongside that, I’m also the I-won’t-talk-to-strangers-even-if-they-talk-to-me type of introvert at the other end.
It’s a weird contradiction to be an extroverted introvert. Our friendliness charms people, while our selectivity displays aloofness. We can be warm and caring but are also pretty secretive.
Can you relate to this? In this post, let’s see some signs you’re an extroverted introvert.
Benefits of Being an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert
Let’s say it. If you want to get far in this world, you have to make connections and expand your network. Today, even the most introverted of all introverts get the privilege of reaching people easier — the Internet.
With the rise of social media, you just have to hit record, perform your skill, upload, and publish. Then, voilà, you’re winning favors.
But if you’re in an environment where communication is indispensable, it seems that the “extroverted ideal” appears to have a cut above the meek. In the workplace, in a classroom, in a meeting – it’s the outgoing ones who charm the people.
We know extroversion doesn’t equate to skill and intelligence. But we can’t deny how this misconception is still on.
But if you’re an extroverted introvert? Dang, you get a kick out of both worlds.
According to research, being “chill” is an attractive trait. That said, your reserved vibe as an introvert carries a powerful charisma while your sociability serves as a tool to spread such warmth.
Are You an Ambivert?
Do you not fancy being called an ‘extroverted’ introvert? Do you prefer calling yourself an “ambivert”?
Well, first of all, the idea of ambiversion is still debatable.
What is an Ambivert?
The term “ambivert” is coined by Hans Eysenck, a psychologist, which is used to describe someone who is adaptive to introverted and extroverted traits.
If you’re an introvert who enjoys parties with friends or an extrovert who fancy alone time with Netflix, then you may be regarded as an ambivert. At least, this is what people say.
But could you really tag yourself an ambivert? Is ambiversion real?
According to Carl Jung, the founder of analytic psychology, no one is 100% introverted or extroverted. That means everyone possesses both introverted and extroverted traits. I do possess it. You do. We all do. Only that, there’s a paramount preference.
That means – even if I lean on introversion as the default, I can still display extroverted behavior when I want or need to. Or the other way around – maybe, you lean on extroversion, but also do things that seem “introvert-ish”.
Moreover, if you’ll look closely at how people describe “ambiverts”, you will find vague signs and characteristics.
I’ve read signs from a few articles telling that “you’re an ambivert if you’re a great listener and a communicator”. But don’t most people do that?
Or “you’re an ambivert if you work well in solo and groups”. A-huh.
As I see it, these descriptions of ambiversion are still unclear. If we’ll look into Carl Jung’s concept of the introvert-extrovert spectrum, then every single person can fall into the category of ambiversion.
As for now, I’d consider the term, “extroverted introvert” rather than calling such behavior “ambiversion”.
Are you an INFJ? You might like this: Are INFJs Ambiverts?
8 Signs You’re an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert
Are you an extroverted introvert? How to know if you’re an extroverted introvert or how do you spot introverts who pose as extroverts?
Here are 8 signs you’re probably one.
1. You stick with people you know.
When with close friends, you reveal boisterous laughs, playfulness, and expansive gestures. I bet you sometimes question your own introversion because of how loud you can be with your chosen people.
But do you notice how you tone down in the presence of strangers? If you do, that shows your reluctance to express your true self and how you value building trust and security before opening up to them.
If you do this, it’s one indicator you’re an extroverted introvert.
2. Sudden quietness
Many introverts can’t keep up with prolonged social stimulation. You’re draining slowly… and surely. You could have been vibing in the party, shouting your lungs out, or laughing endlessly early on.
But at some point, your energy dies down, and even talking becomes a chore.
People notice how you suddenly turned quiet and they started asking, “are you okay?” because they’re not used to seeing you silent and fatigued.
If you experience this, then you’re possibly an outgoing introvert who ran out of social batteries.
Or maybe, your sudden quietness results from daydreaming. You may have turned silent, but your mind’s booming with rich idealism at the moment. Instead of dealing with people, you unconsciously stayed inside your head.
3. You keep your individualistic and creative skills a secret.
This may not be a hard sign, but most outgoing introverts I know (including myself) will try to keep their talents hidden.
They purposely hide it for various reasons. Maybe, they worry people would be uninterested and disapproving, or they’re scared of how their passion projects will reveal their truest selves.
Some extroverted introverts aren’t vocal about their creative talents. They like hiding a part of themselves. One side is for the public to see, and one side is secured and concealed.
4. You may enjoy parties, but not the attention.
I would never forget this image in my head: my friends doing intense splits on the dance floor and competing with another group during our prom, while I was at the corner, laughing my heart out.
Yep, extroverted introverts are often like this – they stay at the sides. They enjoy parties, but won’t jump into a crazy stunt that catches people’s eyes. Instead, they cheer you on and be the most ecstatic background people.
5. You’re less outgoing than people think you are.
How to spot an introvert when they’re only showing their extroverted demeanor?
Here’s a tip: watch how they use either valid or made-up excuses to decline invitations. When they’re there, they obviously add a lot to the fun. But that doesn’t mean they’re gonna join you all the time.
At the end of the day, they’re introverts. Excessive interactions drain them. They would rather stay at home, playing with the cat. (Priorities.)
6. You don’t approach strangers unless they’re shy or awkward.
You rarely engage with strangers especially when they come off as loud or extroverted.
But on the other hand, you’re cordial enough to befriend the quieter ones. You may not like initiating conversations, but you want to make the meek, awkward, and shy people feel comfortable.
7. When well-rested, you reach out to others.
A well-rested extroverted introvert could flood you with messages after hiding in their shells. They’re like mushrooms who pop out of nowhere after they went missing for months. They’d be a bit pushy about hanging out or going somewhere to catch up.
Of course, they do this with people they’re close with.
8. If you tell your friends you’re an introvert, and they were surprised.
“WHAT? YOU’RE AN INTROVERT? AND *name of our friend* IS AN INTROVERT, TOO!?” My extroverted friend exclaimed.
When I told my decade-long best friend that I am an introvert, she took the time to “process our friendship”. With all the banters, funny arguments, and wackiness, she couldn’t just believe it.
And this, you must try.
Reveal your introversion to your friends and see how they would react. If they don’t believe you, then, congratulations! That’s a clear sign you’ve been living as an extrovert in their eyes!
That’s it. Hope this list gave you insights. Thanks for reading!
-M.Mathias
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