Do you judge what you perceive, or do you twist your perceptions and environment to fit a judgment?
This thought revealed some truths in my decision-making processes as an INFP. It’s a wonder to self-reflect about it. If you have the same personality, you might relate to this, too!
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As INFPs, our dominant function is introverted Feeling (Fi). We interpret life through how we feel.
In most cases, it’s a beautiful, heartfelt, and poetic way to live.
Say, when I see an artwork, I subconsciously ask myself: Do I like this? Does it resonate? What does it mean to me?
If it stirs something deep, I’ll love it.
If it feels inauthentic, I’ll be indifferent, or even dislike it, no matter how much others rave about it.
This is how Fi operates. As I have believed before, INFPs perceive situations first, then judge through our moral compass.
Gotcha. *nods*
However, I recently realized that Fi can work in reverse as well.
In this post, let’s talk about how INFPs shape reality based on their emotions, as well as the dark and bright side of letting emotions win.
Ready? Here we go!
When INFPs’ Emotions Shape Reality
I’d been writing about INFJs recently, and one thing stood out. Powered by introverted Intuition (Ni) and introverted Thinking (Ti), they’re loyal to conclusions they’ve formed.
Once they arrive at a belief, they interpret everything through that lens.
Sometimes, they may even reshape reality to fit their ideas, which is why they have a tendency not to predict the future, but to self-fulfill their prophecies.
Then I wondered: Do INFPs do the same?
Do we also change our reality to fit a judgment? Do we also self-prophesy?
And yep. We do it, too, folks! Just differently.
And us INFPs might be doing this more often than we realize.
I Have A Confession To Make…
A few weeks ago, I was overwhelmed with work, home, and church responsibilities, along with a looming national exam.
I wasn’t sick or physically tired. But emotionally? I didn’t want to face the day.
Ugh. My body was dragging.
I wanted to hide in my shell. But I had no valid excuse.
So I have to confess here — I set myself a cop-out. I drew up a valid excuse.
I’m not proud of it, but I’ve learned my lesson.
That night, it was raining. As I walked home, instead of finding shelter, I slowed down and lingered in the drizzle.
I was hoping I’d catch a cold. Because if I did, it’s serious enough to justify taking my much-awaited break.
The next morning, bingo! I woke up lightheaded with mild body aches. Barely a 2 out of 10 pain. But boy, I dove right in as if it were the only hope I had seen in ages.
I filed for leave, sent out sorrowful messages of why I couldn’t come to events, and gave myself the freedom I craved.
At first, I felt FREEDOOOM!!! I let myself rot in bed.
But by lunchtime, that excitement drifted away.
My symptoms were gone. My body was rested, sure. But I was now emotionally restless as the guilt crept in, heavier by the hour.
And that’s when it hit me: Dang, how often do I twist my perception to fit how I feel?
If I can convince myself I’m unwell just to align with my emotional need for rest, how many times have I bent reality in subtle ways just to match my mood?
Hundreds. Maybe more.
And that scared me.
The Dark Side of Fi: When Emotions Warp Perception
Here’s the hard truth: Fi is powerful, but sadly, it’s not always rational. Emotions don’t always make the best decisions.
Unfortunately, once INFPs form an emotional judgment, they subconsciously gather “evidence” to support it.
If we feel like quitting, our mind begins listing all the reasons why we should.
If we want to escape the room, we’ll invent justifications that make leaving feel necessary—even noble.
Here are some real-life examples:
- When you feel discouraged, you mentally list all the reasons your project will fail—then you believe them, and then the project gets abandoned.
- You’re overwhelmed, so you search for a “valid” reason to back out of commitments.
- You don’t want to go to work, so you invent errands or obligations to justify a leave.
- You were excited about a new business, but once it got rough, you convinced yourself it was never right for you. And then, you blame the people, the market, and the competitors. Might as well blame the sky for being blue!
- You might avoid someone because something about them feels off despite not getting the chance to know them or talk to them. From there, every neutral comment becomes suspicious, every kind gesture looks fake. Your guarded behavior might even push them to respond negatively. Then you tell yourself, “I was right, after all!” As if your original assumptions were right.
Unfortunately, this emotional reasoning can become dangerous. It blinds us to facts.
That’s how self-fulfilling emotional prophecies work.
Why Introverted Feeling (Fi) Tends to Seek Comfort
Fi is our moral standards. It sees right and wrong. Good and bad. It sees both beauty and pain.
And naturally, with Fi-dominant, INFPs are drawn to what feels inspiring.
On the other hand, INFPs evade the “bad” things like a plague.
So when the world becomes too heavy, Fi is like an alarm frantically shouting, ‘RUN!!!‘
Fi prioritizes emotional safety, which explains why INFPs build walls around themselves.
When our Fi feels pain, fear, or undesirable situations, it leads us to tweak the truths in our reality.
Most of the time, emotions (Fi) convinces ourselves that escape is the only reasonable option (which is wrong, obviously).
Why INFPs Need to Develop Extraverted Thinking (Te)
This is where our inferior function—Extraverted Thinking (Te)—comes in.
Te function doesn’t care how difficult something feels. It cares about structure, efficiency, and results.
It helps us focus on what needs to be done regardless of how we feel.
When we develop our Te, we stop bending reality to match our emotions. But we start analyzing, classifying, and sorting the world into systems to help us move forward.
We become more grounded, more balanced, and more capable of fulfilling our commitments.
The Bright Side of Fi: When Emotions Inspire, Not Distort
On the bright side, not all emotional influence is harmful.
When INFPs are filled with hope, passion, or purpose, they’re contagious!
Our enthusiasm draws people in.
We speak with conviction, dream with heart, and create a vision others want to be part of.
At its best, it’s nice how our emotional lens are used to positively impact others.
Conclusion
I used to believe Fi helped me interpret the world. But now, I see how often it can bend my perspectives to reflect my inner desires.
The painful part is when I let myself cave in to my emotions.
I easily gave up. I abandoned people.
If we’re not careful, our emotions can influence how we perceive everything.
So pause and ask: Is this truly how things are—or just how I feel right now?
We, INFPs, need to stand on what is right, not just what feels right at the moment.
This realization will serve as a reminder to make better choices and live life not conquered by emotions, but rather in a balance of feelings and structure. 🙂
That’s it! I hope this gave you insights! Thanks for reading! 🙂
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