What happens when an INFP is mad? Do INFPs even get mad at all? The quick answer is, of course, we do!
Anger is a natural human emotion that exhibits strong disapproval or disappointment. Things don’t always go our way, so even for the most gentle personality types such as INFP, anger is inherent.
Although many people stereotype INFPs to be kind, quiet, and – err – crybabies, the truth is, there lies a deeper rationale in every INFP’s anger.
INFP and Anger
First of all, an INFP’s instinct averts from getting involved in conflicts. Aside from seeing it as pointless, long and repetitive arguments tire out INFPs.
Nonetheless, you may see some INFPs try to force you to their conviction or opinion. We debate with others sometimes. However, when a person’s too hard to persuade, we’d easily call it a day. Like, “alright, believe what you like,” then snooze off.
INFPs have low stamina for conflicts. For us, anger is a highly stimulating emotion that could squeeze the batteries out of us.
However, hitting a raw nerve on INFPs is a different story. Have you ever seen them at the peak of their anger? Most people haven’t. Rage is rare for INFPs.
INFP anger isn’t impulsive. We don’t get mad over the wrong coffee size at Starbucks – irritated, maybe – but absolutely not enough to channel our inside dragons.
Our anger is rather collective and deep-rooted. It’s accumulating in what I’ll call the “anger bucket”. INFPs are slow to anger but not until it becomes full.
From people’s perspectives, our reasons may be superficial. However, INFP rage emanates from a cluster of all the little resentments and disappointments which are released all in one enormous upsurge.
Oh, wait. This reminds me of the anime, Mob Psycho 100. Try watching it!
What Makes INFP Angry
Normally, when people’s decisions don’t go with an INFP’s liking, it doesn’t bother INFPs. For them, mutual respect is much more important. However, there are boundaries people must not insensitively cross. If they do, INFPs don’t let it go without trouble. Here are a few reasons that will make an INFP angry:
For INFPs, loyalty and trust speak volumes. Honestly, it takes a lot of time and proof before they lower their guard for a person.
For us, everyone is suspicious by default. We immediately give out respect, however, it’s hard to earn our trust.
So when someone they trust cheats or betrays them, it takes a lot of mental and emotional exhaustion. No, they won’t question themselves. But they will cast doubt on everything about you.
They start to re-evaluate your actions. They will reform their idea of you and resent you for making them look like a fool the whole time.
Breaching personal space
“Don’t joke around with me. We’re not friends.” I don’t know how many people I’ve told this to.
As an INFP, I know I’m a hard nut to crack. I set a lot of unspoken standards for others to follow. The list is long but for me, breaching my personal space is an absolute taboo. I know many INFPs can relate to it, too.
INFP’s personal space includes:
- Body – don’t mindlessly touch, slap, or push them, even as a joke.
- Belongings – don’t use, touch, or read anything without permission
- Their circle – if you’re not close, be sensitive with your jokes.
It all derives from respect. People must learn that before they do anything outside of their properties, they must be mindful of others, too. Unfortunately, many people feel entitled to do everything they want. It makes me cringe.
Humiliation and tarnishing their reputation fill a huge portion of an INFP’s anger bucket. If not, it fills it instantly.
INFPs loathe defaming, bullying, and mocking people. Obviously, it’s an intentional absence of basic respect. It infuriates them to hear you spit words that aren’t true.
For me, I could take criticism as long as it’s truthful. However, people who shout insults and lies are enough to give me a hump.
What happens when an INFP is mad?
Moving on, how to tell if an INFP is mad? How do they express it? As an INFP, I can describe to you 3 ways INFPs cope with their anger.
Truth be told, INFPs get easily annoyed with bullies, show-offs, and fake people. They’re the perfect set of people that INFPs avoid.
Unfortunately, these braggarts always find an audience to show off to. On contrary, INFPs do their best to sidestep from any interaction with them. No eye contact, no response, no enthusiasm. Zilch.
They will ignore the person they dislike as much as they can.
INFPs and conflicts don’t mix together. Once an INFP gets fed up with all the stress and disappointments, they will start to walk away, ignore texts, and block your calls. INFP getting angry could mean that for them, you’re invisible and do not exist. They hear you but you won’t receive any response. Moreover, they will go to the farthest corner to avoid breathing the same air as you. Fed up INFPs seriously don’t want anything to do with you.
During heated arguments, I often see myself raising my palm in a conversation, signaling the person to “stop” talking. I don’t like repetitive arguments with no solution. If the conversation gets to no point, I’d nonchalantly walk away and go home. I usually just shake my head before I leave to show my dismay and poof, I’m gone. Bye.
Daggers of Truth
INFPs are natural observers. Unfortunately, this love for observing people could be our weapon, too. Since we weigh and evaluate people’s behavior, we can uncover a few truths about you, including your weaknesses and insecurities.
Once an INFP snaps with rage, they will shower you with daggers of truth that will emotionally shatter your being. They become frank without a care about your feelings. They target a person’s core foundation, thought process, and the insecurities no one talks about.
They would question your objectives, point out why you’re not succeeding, and why people look down on you. They will mention how awful your vanity looks, how you put a false front, or how you’re being a hypocrite. An angry INFP will strike you where it will surely hurt. It becomes more painful because you know there’s truth in what INFPs say.
Rage and anger for INFP could sometimes retort to violence.
Most often than not, words don’t cover INFP’s huge outburst. Instead, they will retaliate with all the damage you gave them through force.
INFPs could throw punches or grab anything within their reach and throw it at you. Their eyes would tell you they won’t think twice. They are committed to giving you what you deserve, even if it means receiving physical damage, too.
What’s worse is when an INFP starts plotting revenge against you. An angry INFP could forget their compassion and kind values to guarantee their justice.
You may also like: The Dark Side of INFP Personality
What to do if an INFP is mad at you?
INFPs don’t live for anger. Usually, when I don’t see the person I dislike, I work just fine. I don’t carry my anger from one person to another.
If I get angry at one person, it’s not hard for me to smile back at someone else’s.
However, what should you do if an INFP is mad at you? Should you apologize? Yeah, do that. But the best way to relieve an INFP’s anger is to simply stop being a jerk.
For INFPs, apologies mean nothing when you don’t understand why you’re wrong and you don’t make an effort to change it. The best apology is indeed a changed behavior.
INFPs are calm and optimistic spirits. However, even the peace-revering INFPs, like all human beings, have the capability for anger when they feel that the situation requires it.
INFPs can be patient towards bullies and insults but they won’t accept it forever. Gentle, yet their rage isn’t something people would want to see.
But overall, INFPs still prioritize their own and other people’s well-being. As much as possible, they want to live free and genuinely. Anger is a mere episode to protect an INFP’s values and ideals. It’s everyone’s reason, right?
Indeed, we all have something to stand up for!
Are you an INFP dealing with procrastination? Grab your copy of the “Not Lazy, Just INFP” e-book. 🙂
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