Can INFJs be manipulative? Well, in one way or the other, the answer is yes. Like any human being, we’re all prone to socially manipulate and “influence” the people around us. And at some point, we all get manipulated, too.
We mimic phrases, copy one’s gestures, and make people accept our beliefs.
Since everyone has an aptitude for manipulation, the better question is, “do INFJs manipulate intentionally?”
Are they aware of doing it, or they’re simply too emotionally attuned that they unknowingly affect your behavior and thinking?
Now, this is interesting.
In this post, let’s talk about how INFJs manipulate people, whether it’s intentional or unintentional, and if INFJs are easily manipulated.
Curious how they do it? Then let’s start!
Are INFJs Manipulative?
One thing we should keep in mind, INFJs are very, very aware. They’re deep thinkers, overthinkers, and sensitive about their surroundings.
If INFJs wish to manipulate people, they’re perfect to do the act.
Combining their skill in observing behavioral patterns and tapping into your emotional pulse, INFJs can effortlessly mirror your behaviors, make you feel comfortable, and instill a new perspective in you without your notice.
It may only take a few conversations to get you to align with them.
You will feel like they understand you. And believe me, they really do. They understand your intention, goal, your insecurities, and your strengths.
Although not all INFJs will use intentional manipulation to harm others, it’s undeniable that there are unhealthy INFJs who may actively use them.
How Do INFJs Manipulate People?
Did you know that Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons is an INFJ?
If you have watched — or are planning to watch — the cartoon series, you would know that Lisa Simpson is arguably the most intelligent member of the Simpson household.
Despite being a musical genius, Lisa often downplays her skills to make the people around her feel better.
Like a true INFJ, Lisa Simpson embodies the art of INFJ manipulation so well that it becomes hardly noticeable to her family and friends.
Similar to how Lisa Simpson does it, real-life INFJs also utilize their gift of empathy to create outcomes that they desire.
In fact, INFJs are so good at manipulating that the people around them hardly suspect that they’re already greatly influenced.
But how exactly do these sneaky idealists do it?
We can summarize the answer in four words: they observe our triggers.
Behavioral triggers are reactions you make to a word, person, or environment.
INFJs are incredible manipulators as they notice what causes you to react in different ways.
For example, if an INFJ notices you become timid when talking to a crowd, they could use your weakness to bargain a favor from you in return for speaking in public on your behalf.
Why Do INFJs Manipulate People?
Despite the term, “manipulation” having a bad rap, most INFJs would argue that they manipulate for a good cause. It doesn’t sound convincing… but hear me out.
INFJs manipulate people because they have a ‘gut’ feeling that it will lead to a positive result. Their manipulative acts are intended to help rather than harm.
When INFJs see a vulnerable person needing help, they feel the urge to act upon it, and their empathy is to blame for the most part. But this urge to make the person feel better drives them to manipulate someone unintentionally to cheer them up.
Say, INFJs may be guilty of making promises they know they can’t keep but still do so because it temporarily replaces someone’s negative emotions with happy ones.
Aside from intuition, INFJs also manipulate as it serves as their self-defense mechanism when they feel threatened.
For example, when they are extremely introverted and do not want to socialize with friends, INFJs would make up an excuse that they know their friends would feel guilty of, if they insist.
INFJs wouldn’t feel bad about taking a rain check or using “valid excuses” on their friends.
How Often Do INFJs Manipulate People?
INFJs only manipulate people when their judging trait convinces them it is necessary, and the intuition says it will lead to positive effects.
Despite being master manipulators, INFJs are still good people and will not abuse their skills to take advantage of others.
When they read someone’s behavior, they mentally judge the person’s emotional state. This judgment helps them decide if they need to change how they act to make the situation more pleasing.
It is when INFJs feel uncomfortable with a person or the situation that they will only use their manipulative tactics to either leave or divert their attention.
Are INFJs Easily Manipulated?
Despite being excellent manipulators, are INFJs easily manipulated? The answer is no.
Like how a teacher has mastery over a subject, so is an INFJ manipulating people. It is nearly impossible for other personalities — except their fellow INFJs — to intentionally manipulate them in any way.
Before someone even attempts to manipulate them, INFJs have already detected that person’s intention and may already be manipulating them back in a subtle way.
INFJs also find it offensive when they notice someone is trying to trick them, as it poses a threat to them.
So, INFJs either call out the person immediately or watch them make a fool of themselves for trying to manipulate a master manipulator.
Are INFJs manipulative?
Yes, INFJs can be manipulative but rest assured they are only doing it for the better good. You can trust your INFJ friends to always look out for you, even if it means they have to manipulate certain situations to make you safe.
As excellent empathizers, INFJs’ ability to read non-verbal actions means they can see cues that other MBTIs hardly notice.
This skill makes INFJs feel they are accountable for their friends’ lives, and one of the ways they keep them safe is by manipulating them with love.
And that’s how INFJ manipulate the people around them.
Did you find this helpful? Leave a comment below! I wanna hear your insights. 🙂
Thanks for reading!
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- 13 Unhealthy Traits of INFJ Personality
- INFJ Intelligence: What Makes INFJ Smart?
- Can INFJ Read Minds?