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How to Make An Introverted Girl Fall in Love With You

“Listen to the silence. It has so much to say.” – Rumi

Simple, yet this line keys on what’s unseen but felt, silent but transcendent.

In the generation that chases popularity and approval, silence becomes a heavily sought-after luxury. Due to this, it’s no wonder how introverts’ reserved vibe has, too, become more alluring than it has ever been.

Now, quietness is a breath of fresh air. More so if you find them in an introverted woman that you like.

Are you attracted to a reserved, introverted woman? Maybe it’s their creativity, independence, and intellect that caught your eye. But while they’re both unique and captivating, winning their heart may be a worksome quest.

What makes an introvert fall in love?

Making an introvert fall in love requires consistent and genuine efforts. They test people who enter their zone, and those men won’t even realize they’re taking it.

These women search for a partner with whom they can share their happiest, deepest, and darkest thoughts. Introverts fall in love with intellect, empathy, and passion more than physical appearances.

Moreover, an introverted woman falls in love with guys who have the same wavelength as her, appreciates her creativity, and supports her passion.

13 Tips How to Make An Introvert Girl Fall in Love With You

Want to win the heart of an introverted woman? To elaborate more, here are 13 tips you should try (and remember) if you want to make an introverted girl fall in love with you:

1. Let her observe you at a distance.

Want to approach an introverted woman directly? Hold up. Not so soon. 

I’m an introverted woman and I’ve experienced how people – who I never have seen before – come up, introduce themselves, and randomly engage in a conversation with me. Being a cautious introvert, I’d say those were not the best interaction I had because my booming mind constantly thinks, “Who the hell is this? What do you want?”

In short, being approached by someone we know nothing about is unsettling rather than fun.

So what to do? I suggest you let her observe you from a distance.

Build yourself a good reputation even before you formally introduce yourself. The first step, be vibrant enough so she’d notice you. Not with clothes, but show a bright and irresistible personality.

For the second step, show her your skills. Win at your favorite sports or play your instrument with confidence. When she’s around, share some awesome, intellectual propositions. Let loose of that charismatic leadership.

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If you’re an introverted guy who wants to attract women without talking to them, this post might interest you:

5 Tips How Introverted Guys Can Attract a Girl Without Talking to Her

Up next, tip # 2 is also a good starter.

2. Stay near where she can always see you.

Try to build a sense of familiarity. One way is to be always around “coincidentally”.

Introverts are perceptive enough to remember the people around them, regardless of whether they’re their friends or not.

Be in the library with her – even if you’re sitting meters apart. Eat meals at the same hour as her. Attend events she’s present in. Go with your friends and sit nearby her.

But a key point to remember: Be natural! Don’t engage her with eye contact, yet, so you wouldn’t look like a creep.

3. Be empathetic and mindful of others.

Introverts care about human subjectivity and people’s behavior. Because of these, many introverts appear to be empathetic and mindful of others. This makes most introverted women highly conscious of the choice of words, tone, and intention of whoever they’re talking to.

That said, whether you’re talking to her or with other people, interact with respect. You never know how early an introverted woman has been silently evaluating you.

4. Introverts love the quiet, so don’t trample on their calm and peace.

Never try to “build her confidence” by making her the center of attention. Newsflash: she can be confident without the spotlight. Furthermore, pushing her too much out of her comfort zone is disorienting and aggravating.

Instead, engage with them in private and in silence.

Flashy surprises, grandiose gifts, and attention from a crowd can be off-putting, especially when your connection hasn’t reached much depth, yet. They consider their romantic life as private, too, so don’t be quick on thinking they like to be exposed.

Respect her grounds. Always check on her but keep your connection low-key. Privacy is silent, but an alluring display of exclusivity between you and an introverted woman.

5. Establish a connection before you admit your feelings.

How to make an introvert love you? Establish a connection first before confessing. Because truly, your relationship must have roots, or else, your words may not get through the way you wanted it.

Picture this, introverts are selective with friends. Now, if you’re someone who confesses out of the blue, what do you think would happen? Yes, you’re right. Your words won’t really leave much weight.

That said, establish trust first and make her comfortable talking with you. Open up some interesting stories. Make her laugh. Tell your views. Sharing secrets with her sounds awesome, too.

When an introverted woman has become comfortable, you’d be surprised how carefree, fun, and random they can be.

man and woman sitting on bench during daytime
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6. Be independent and avoid being too clingy.

I’m not gonna lie. It’s adorable how men crave a woman’s attention. Yeah, but not until they ask for too much. And it’s suffocating… and draining…

Truth is, introverted women need alone time and a quiet space for themselves. They can feel drained when someone clings to them 24/7. Let her embrace her alone time. She needs to breathe with creativity, read her favorite fiction or a good leadership book, or binge-watch a mind-boggling series. 

Once you understand how she functions, and she knows you’re not putting her under any pressure, it shows patience and respect – a good move that can make her fall in love with you. 

7. Follow her pace.

Don’t rush an introverted woman to make a decision.  Chances are, they would see it as pushy and immediately dismiss your idea. 

Instead, keep your calm. Rest assured that despite looking unaware of your growing feelings, they spend hours and days thinking about the possibilities between you and her.

8. Initiate deep questions.

Introverts love deep conversations. It’s the best way to engage an introvert into talking – and sharing – a lot!

And let’s stress how you need to “initiate” conversations.  Most introverted girls wouldn’t engage with you in the beginning unless they learn your stories, hobbies, and preferences.

Sooner or later, sharing personal stories becomes more in-depth and they will start to open up. So if they imagine future scenarios, just go with it. If they create what-if situations, share your views about them.

If you want an introverted woman to fall in love with you, try catching up with their idealism.

Talk about dreams, life, preferences, and goals. Talk about the exes, and the lessons you picked up along the way.

Here are a few more topics you can talk about with her: 

  • Plans and goals
  • What she’s passionate about (her likes, dislikes, and creative hobbies)
  • Life lessons, values, and beliefs
  • Family 
  • Favorite books, movies, and bands
  • Talk about exes (if she’s comfortable with it)
  • What she thinks about romance
  • What-if questions (give her a mind-boggling dilemma to think about)
  • Wonders of the universe (spirituality, human connection and subjectivity, consciousness, destiny, philosophy, and thought processes.)

Oftentimes, the best conversations happen late at night, when it’s almost 12 AM, through texts. You better take that opportunity since texting is every introvert’s territory. I assure you, they open up more through texts than in person.

woman in white long sleeve shirt and black shorts holding black smartphone
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9. Let them have their share in the conversation.

Introverts are active listeners. But although they pose great listening skills and give the floor to you, truth is, they expect to be given time for their fair share of ideas, too.

Unfortunately, many people can be self-absorbed and care less about the exchange of ideas. If you want to be in a relationship with an introverted woman, start off by lending them an ear. Ask questions about her. Get her to talk about anything they deem as meaningful and they will start becoming closer with you.

10. If you’re going to invite them, ask their availability first (and give them a choice).

It frustrates me when people invite me to their parties and events but do not give me a choice to decline. Unfortunately, whenever this happens, it inspires me to decline even more.

If you want to invite an introvert, consider her schedule first. Ask if they’re available on this date at this time. If they’re not, you can move the plans to a different date.

Be patient. Chances are, you’ll face several declines from an introvert before they eventually go with you. But in the end, your consistency will be paid off with trust and respect.

11. Focus on what they’re passionate about

Take note of her likes and dislikes, her stories, dreams, and goals. Nothing impresses an introvert more than realizing how much you’ve paid attention to detail. More often than not, introverts take the role of listeners. It’s not very often that they deal with interested listeners who truly care.

12. Spend time alone with her (and don’t bring your friends)

I’ll let you in on a secret: introverts would rather spend time alone with you, rather than hang around with your friends.

Some introverts show their love through quality time. They want to have purposeful talks with you, be fun, or be weird. But if you’re busy accommodating other friends, not only that an introvert won’t be able to open up but quality time just won’t happen, too. Instead, they’ll be crouching at the corner waiting to go home.

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13. Be consistent.

Last but not the least, be consistent. When you tell an introvert you like her, make sure it’s true to the ground.

Remember, many introverted women are guarded on who enters their circle. If they would enter into a relationship, it’s unlikely that they’d settle with an indecisive man or someone who just plays around. It takes boatloads of patience and proof to gain their trust. Prepare yourself!

Wrap up

Usually, the hardest part about getting into relationships and falling in love with introverts is the getting-to-know each other stage. They put you into tenfolds of tests and you’re not even aware you’re taking it. While they seek your strengths, they’re also in the pursuit of your weaknesses, thought processes, and behaviors.

Moreover, keep in mind that introverts are not all the same in nature. They’re individuals with varying traits.

But there’s one thing I’m sure of. Once they truly resonated with you, you’ll have a license to nose-dive into their depth and shower with their overflowing randomness and creativity.


-M. Mathias

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