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Can INFPs Be Mean?

Can INFPs be mean?

While it may seem contradictory to the compassionate nature of an INFP, the truth is that these dreamy idealists, like any personality type, can be mean and express moments of intensity, too.

However, they may express it differently. Instead of intentionally antagonizing others, INFP’s rudeness stems from deeply violated morals.

In this post, let’s discuss the particular circumstances that may trigger INFPs to do such not-so-pleasant encounters.

How INFPs Can Be Mean

We all know INFPs generally appear to be reserved and delicate.

However, their commitment to deeply held values becomes evident when someone violates, challenges, or dismisses those principles they cherish.

In such situations, the usually calm, conflict-averse INFP, continuously pushed to experiencing disrespect, may surprise everyone with a sharp retort, aiming to correct and defend something they hold dear.

You try to disrespect them? At first, they keep quiet about it.

But be careful. There’s always a last straw where their occasional bubbles of contained temper eventually emerge, and manifest into an explosive rage.

Their gentle demeanor takes a back seat.

INFPs Become Unapologetically Frank

INFPs have their dark sides, too.

When they reached their limits, these gentle souls have habit of placing a mirror before you.

When someone attempts to scrutinize their actions, these empaths counter by presenting the mirror and assertively highlighting your own flaws.

Believe it or not, they’re conscious of one’s weaknesses, and they won’t think twice about bringing all these up just to prove their point.

But unlike people who intentionally look down and bully others, these Dreamers never veer into the territory of belittling others for their appearances, status, or upbringing.

Instead, they attack something deeper: one’s character, reputation, and even conscience.

As the golden rule says: don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.

Usually, they uphold others’ self-worth as much as they value their own.

But since they are deeply in touch with emotions, a hurt INFP may strike that person where they know it would surely hurt — your flaws, insecurities, and weaknesses — hammering down how much of a wretch you may have been.

INFPs Mirror Your Bad Behavior

If the other person continues to take away INFP’s peace, it’s only a matter of time before these empaths take revenge by mirroring the same toxicity people inflicted them.

They can be pretty mean, frank, twisted mad, and unapologetic. They’d do things they know you wouldn’t like. Pretty vengeful.

They detach from emotions and go full-on Extraverted Thinker (Te).

This usually happens after a repeated invasion of their morals and personal space.

They do it to as a response to your unacceptable actions, which of course, appear as not only mean, but intentionally hurtful to others.

However, let’s also note that this level of meanness takes a long time to accumulate among these gentle beings.

How INFPs Can Be Rude (unintentionally)

INFP’s aloofness often appear rude. One example is ignoring text messages.

Not all, but many INFPs including me and those close to me leave messages unread for a long while.

I admit we should work on this. However, people have yet to realize that for an INFP, responding to messages isn’t just a matter of typing words — it’s an emotional investment.

These empaths overthink and strive for the perfect response, making the process overwhelming and socially draining.

I and some INFPs I know reply after days, or don’t reply at all. Personally, it’s an anxiety issue for me, which is what I’m trying to overcome.

Furthermore, INFPs can also be unintentionally rude when unexpectedly encountering people in public settings.

When caught off guard, particularly with individuals they’re not close with, INFPs tend to withdraw quickly, creating an impression of avoidance or rudeness.

They find it challenging to engage in spontaneous conversations. They struggle to keep small talk going.


While INFPs are known for their gentle and empathetic nature, we must also recognize that they are also complex individuals with layers beyond their serene exterior.

INFPs can be mean, but it’s stems from being protective of their values and being critical of people who trample others’ boundaries and provide nothing but disrespect.

So the next time you see an INFP stepping out of their usual character, consider the deeper motivations at play – you might just discover a whole other persona and learn what these empaths truly care about.

That’s it. Thanks for reading. 🙂

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