It’s a tough reality. INFJs are seen as out of touch, as though they don’t fit into the world. They’re unique and misunderstood. After all, INFJ is one of the rarest MBTI personality types.
How Do INFJs see the world?
INFJs see the world through a unique lens, analyzing and considering events from multiple angles. They’re not afraid of complexity or ambiguity; instead, they welcome it. They have an uncanny ability to read between the lines and see what lies beneath the surface.
What’s more, INFJs may be a contradiction themselves—they want close connections with others but also have trouble letting their inner thoughts and “true self” shine through. They are logical yet emotional at the same time.
Although INFJs have a knack for keeping people entertained and comfortable, there’s not a hint, but a sizeable hole within their hearts saying, “I don’t fit in.”
Going in-depth, how do INFJs feel in this world that seems to be made against them?
How Do INFJs Feel in This World?
1. INFJs have a different train of thought, and people often misunderstand it.
INFJs are more than just your average intuitive. They perceive the world in a way that most people can’t, and they easily spot patterns or hidden meanings.
Whenever I talk to my INFJ friends, I’m amazed at how receptive they are to my explanations, while others still need a sentence or two to understand me.
These idealists have a strong “gut feel” and intuition where they instinctively “get” things.
All of this sounds cool, right? Right!
But in truth, it’s not as wonderful if you’re an INFJ who can’t verbalize their thoughts and intuitions.
This frustrating feeling is intensified when INFJs try to explain their feelings.
You see, INFJs have a way with words. Meet an INFJ and you will know how amazing communicators they are.
Speeches? News presenting? They can do that. But it’s not always the case when it’s time to express their real thoughts verbally.
INFJs get frustrated when they couldn’t express themselves clearly enough for others to understand them.
They don’t want anyone else to know this weakness— so they will try their best to get their point across. But no matter how hard they try, it usually doesn’t work out well.
It’s difficult to make others picture what you see, especially since it’s all abstract for INFJs, too.
As a result, they appear as over-complicating things, taking things too seriously, or not making any sense.
2. INFJs may sometimes feel like they’re losing identity — always feeling the need to pretend.
Introverts already have it difficult because of our predominantly extroverted society, but it’s even more challenging for an INFJ.
Why? Because INFJs are strong Feelers, too. Extraverted Feelers (Fe), to be more exact. They can be oversensitive about their surroundings and has a high value for tribe mentality.
Due to this, they quickly pick up the mood in an environment, with a drive to keep it harmonious and peaceful.
They want everyone around them to be happy, so much that sometimes this trait takes over their own lives and causes them to lose touch with who they really are as individuals.
They spend a lot of time trying to avoid conflicts by being diplomatic and agreeable. They act more extroverted than they actually are and probably have been called or perceived as a people-pleaser, which you know may be true.
INFJs often wear a mask – a heavy mask of responsibility placed upon them, and a burden of being unable to show their real feelings.
In the end, some INFJs think, “people like the mask I wear, but never see who I truly am.”
3. INFJs are sensitive to the world, as a whole.
INFJs are some of the most in-tune people you will meet. They can read others’ body language and facial expressions, and can often tell what someone is thinking or feeling just by being around them.
However, this ability can be a double-edged sword because if someone close to them feels sad, they might also feel sad—and that’s not always a good thing.
Dealing with other people’s emotions aside from their own leads to frequent overwhelm.
Aside from people, INFJs find the world overwhelming as a whole. They get annoyed with bright lights, loud noises, fluctuating temperatures, and strong scents.
They may dislike being touched by strangers and prefer to be alone in their own bubble. INFJs have a hard time with crowds and feel very uncomfortable in large groups of people, so they may prefer to work from home or from a coffee shop instead of an office building.
Indeed, it seems like this chaotic world is too much for INFJs to handle, but you’d be surprised by how many of them thrive in it.
My INFJ friends have unparalleled never-give-up attitudes—and as an INFP, that’s what I love about them.
4. They’re in the long search of people who can understand them.
It’s no surprise that INFJs align their emotions with you. But… who aligns their emotions with INFJs?
From an INFJ perspective, it feels like no one understands them as much as they understand others. Yet they seem to be in a constant search of deep connections.
They want to find someone who will listen to their feelings and thoughts without judgment or criticism.
It is important for INFJs to have someone they can speak openly with; someone who will accept them for who they are without trying to change them into someone else. Someone who listens when they speak, and does not brush off ideas even if it sounds too unrealistic.
INFJs are always seeking out new experiences and meeting new people, but not just anyone will do. If an INFJ meets someone who doesn’t share their values or beliefs then it can be a huge turn-off. Yet, they stay with you despite the discomfort and inconvenience.
Sadly, for INFJs, it can be a lonely walkabout to seek deep connections and not find them despite the efforts. This usually causes a lot of one-sided relationships for an INFJ and even leads to INFJ loneliness.
5. Despite the difficulties, INFJs still love the simplicity of life.
An INFJ who learns that the world is a nuanced place and still accepts it, is often content and freer than most.
They find themselves adoring books, a warm bath, and catch-up conversations with old friends.
On one side, they crave for depth. But on the other hand, they’re actually fond of simple pleasures.
INFJs have an attraction to simple and ancient — knowledge, vintages, history, and writing.
That’s why they’re called “The Sage.” Wise and old souls, aren’t they?
How INFJs Can Cope In A World That Seems to Go Against Them
INFJ struggles can sometimes be ruthless. Coping in a world built differently from how you function may not be easy, but don’t fret!
Here are tips to help you live a happier life as an INFJ.
1. Avoid stressful environments that are stressful for you.
Try to avoid crowded malls, loud concerts, parties, or nightclubs. Instead, do activities or go to places you find more enjoyable and suited for your personality.
2. Find a creative outlet.
When you can’t tell your emotions to people, vent it out through creativity. Paint. Do scrapbooking. You can also try journalling, meditating, or perhaps going for a long walk while listening to your favorite music. This allows you to process, sort, and healthily express your feelings.
3. Find INFJ groups or communities.
This can help you feel less isolated since you can talk to people with the same perspective and personality as yours. You never know. You might just find a new lifelong friend!
4. Learn to be more honest about your feelings.
Ok, I know this is easier said than done but hear me out. It doesn’t feel great to mask your emotions forever, right? Try talking to a trusted friend or family member about how you truly feel. Try opening up. Or if you feel like other people only vent to you, try to set boundaries to not overwhelm yourself.
From what I see, intuitives like INFJs carry unnecessary fear about speaking their minds. Maybe because they have heavy expectations. They assume strong reactions from people they told their feelings to.
I know it’s a hard pill to swallow. But honestly, people may or may not care. But at least you got it out of your chest. It’s a win.
Being a caring and compassionate individual is a great thing. But don’t forget that you also need to take care of yourself. You deserve all the love, respect, and care you give to other people.
Are you an INFJ feeling out of place? You can start by taking off your mask. This will also help you find people that can truly accept you for who you really are.
I hope this post gave you insights.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
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