As much as we don’t like to admit it, many INFPs do cry a lot. We have a propensity for being deeply touched by emotion and often find ourselves crying more than we should.
But for the record, not all INFPs cry a lot, contrary to the stereotypes.
However, personally, as an INFP, I can’t deny how these surging emotions can become uncontrollable sometimes.
Unfortunately, this natural emotion is culturally seen as odd, and Thinking personalities like ESTJ and ISTJ can’t easily grasp deep emotions even when they try to. Even my father, an INTJ, says he doesn’t lean too much on emotions, so he may often misunderstand a Feeler like me.
Now, proceeding to the real question: are INFPs crybabies? Do they unnecessarily cry a lot? And if they do, WHY?
Let’s get into that.
Are INFPs crybabies?
It’s true that INFPs are more in touch with emotions than other personality types. However, we must understand that INFPs also have another side to them.
It’s that they refrain from showing vulnerability.
If I may ask you, have you ever seen an INFP cry in real life? Well, if we’re friends, you would have seen me countless times, and that’s because I’m no longer shy about it.
But to my other INFP friends? They’re so careful about showing emotions in public.
I’ve never, ever seen them shed a tear even when they’re already falling apart, broken with family issues, or… at their loved one’s funeral. And this is a true story.
Yes, they have bursting feelings. But unbeknownst to the public, these kind souls are not crybabies, but emotionally adept individuals. They reel emotions in, lean on no one for comfort, and heal alone.
Truth is, these gentle souls dislike crying in public and get upset when people feel sorry for them.
They prefer to leave a situation rather than expose their feelings. They don’t post personal problems on social media because no one needs to know they’re hurting. Their cries are exclusive to them alone.
On the other hand, there are other INFPs (maybe, the more mature ones) who would care less about others’ opinions and have learned to express true emotions. Their mature enough to sort out what really matters and drop people’s expectations.
To them, if they cry, so what?
Now, I’m no longer the self-conscious INFP who’s scared to show tears in front of people. I’m even happy that I have nothing to hide and I no longer need to come up with excuses. It’s liberating.
Are INFPs snowflakes and sensitive?
INFPs may be sensitive but they are definitely not snowflakes.
Snowflakes are people who are easily offended by opposing ideals, tend to play victim, think they’re special, and carry a sense of entitlement. Any defiance in their perception will cause them to be upset.
Obviously, INFPs have more depth compared to that.
INFPs are more open-minded. They understand that everyone has their own preferences, situations, and beliefs. They are big-picture people who try to see multiple perspectives and be compassionate about it.
The only similarity between INFP and snowflakes: sensitivity and letting emotions get ahead of logic.
However, the differences are huge.
Here are the differences between a snowflake and an INFP:
In addition, people who question INFP’s sensitivity are probably those who have little regard for empathy. Well, it’s true that there are personalities who are inclined toward facts and can struggle on reading people’s emotional pulse.
They don’t prioritize group thinking and harmony if it’s misaligned with their logic overdrive.
Mostly, it’s the Thinkers who would call out INFPs about being a “snowflake.” Truly, when the sensitive and insensitive collide, it often doesn’t end peacefully.
Well, we just have to deal with that, I guess.
Do INFPs Cry A Lot?
INFPs feel a lot. But crying? I can’t just say all INFPs cry a lot, right? That’s stereotyping.
Realistically, it depends on many factors, like:
- others trespassing and disrespecting their values
- how chaotic and overwhelming the world around them is
- how much they dwell in negativity
- or simply, the kind of drama movies they’re currently watching
As an INFP, I used to cry a lot in my younger years. I remember when I was denied of college graduation because I failed to file my application on time (my fault).
Cried buckets, even at school! But now that I’m in a career that I love, working solo and earning enough to support myself – I don’t cry as often.
Not unless I rewatch Miguel singing “Remember Me” to Mama Coco! (from the 2017 Disney film, Coco)
(You should watch it!)
Why INFPs Cry Easily
Now, the next question is, why do INFPs cry easily while others don’t? What causes such sensitivity?
Here are some reasons:
1. INFPs cry because they feel deeply by default.
Again, “by default.“
Being introverted Feelers (Fi), they see their surrounding through an emotional filter where their personal morals and beliefs reign.
Their default way of thinking is to understand how they feel towards people, situations, sentiments, and even inanimate objects (everything!).
They can feel people’s struggles, resulting to draw a vivid simulation of the pain, grief, or sorrow.
So while others would sympathize with a sad story, an INFP would already be painting the scenario in their head and simulating what it feels like to be in that position. As a result, emotions are amplified and they can’t help but feel strongly and vividly.
2. INFPs cry because they understand too much.
These empaths don’t dwell on the surface level, but also read reasons, intentions, and motivations.
They don’t only see you as a bully, but as someone who’s insecure and needs peers’ validation. INFPs don’t see a personalized beaded bracelet, but they see the time you spent thinking about them as you make it.
Knowing the deeper meaning behind every situation, INFPs can pull out more reasons that intensify their emotions.
3. INFPs cry because of high expectations.
INFPs are powerful visionaries (driven by extraverted iNtuition or Ne). Combining it with the introverted Feeling (Fi) function, they usually feel a huge chunk of purpose and direction.
However, the more hope they have for themselves and others, the more it hurts them once they fail.
INFPs are hopefuls, optimists, and a powerhouse of emotional and moral support. But we all know that the higher the expectations, the higher the fall.
INFPs easily cry when expectations (especially for themselves) are not met.
They would feel worthless and purposeless. Because every time they fail, it’s friction against the beliefs and optimism they invested in the beginning.
Now, many INFPs struggle because they’re afraid to show their weakness. But like happiness and laughter, crying is a typical emotion. Tears are a natural human reaction and should be looked nothing else but normal.
Yes, INFPs are sensitive, caring people. They are often moved to tears by a beautiful piece of music or a moving film. They might even cry at the thought of hurting someone else’s feelings.
From my experience, crying when I’m angry or happy makes people understand my motivation more.
So as an INFP, instead of not speaking up and leaving people confused, I would rather speak up even when my tears fall.
That’s it! I hope this gave you insights into why INFPs cry. Thanks for reading! 🙂
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