What happens when Cupid’s arrow hits an empath and a thinker? Now, this will be interesting, especially if we’re talking about the Dreamers and the Logicians of the MBTI. Yep, INFP and INTP romantic relationships can have a solid connection, especially when they find common ground.
Both are curious people who enjoy exploring new ideas, so they’ll likely have more to share on art, progress, science, or philosophy. However, these two types differ in several ways — with their dominant functions being quite different.
Do INFPs and INTPs get along?
INFPs and INTPs have a lot of things in common. First, they’re both intuitive (N) types, meaning they’re more interested in the abstract than the practical matters. They’re both idealists and see the world as it should be rather than how it is.
Second, they’re both introverts (I), meaning they prefer their own company than spending their time with others.
However, while they share some similarities, it isn’t always smooth sailing. Like any personality, some of their differences can also cause difficulties for them to get along.
The first difference is primarily their cognitive functions. See the image below:
INFPs have introverted feeling (Fi) as their dominant function, while INTPs use introverted thinking (Ti). This means the Dreamers are guided by their emotions and values when making decisions, and the Logicians cling more to logical and rational processes.
When an INFP and INTP relationship is new and immature, their default way of thinking is one difference that can lead to major conflicts.
Conflicts can spark when INFPs can’t comprehend the logic behind INTP’s words or actions. Well, it’s not that they can’t understand, but they reject it because their motivation is based on personal values and emotions.
Meanwhile, the INTP would also be tone-deaf in making sense of their Fi-dominant partner.
While both are introverts, INFPs may appear more outgoing, childlike, and bouncy than INTPs, who prefer their time alone or time with close friends and family members.
But since both are introverts, a difficult similarity is when one coaxes the other into going out, especially to attend social gatherings. It would be hard to drag them into situations where there aren’t any people they can be comfortable with.
Going back to the question: Do INFP and INTP get along?
The answer is yes. Like any relationship, the INFP-INTP relationship can be positive if both partners compromise on their differences to work together as a team. But on the brighter side, they have more in common and share traits that mind-blowingly complement each other.
And if these two types are willing to learn how each other works, they can create a healthy, long-lasting relationship where both partners feel valued and loved by their partners.
The Strengths of the INFP-INTP Relationship
The INFP-INTP relationship is a unique one. While the two types share many of the same values, their differences in personality type can make for an interesting dynamic. Here are some strengths of this partnership.
1. Both are open-minded and love the abstract.
Since INFP and INTP are both extraverted intuitives (Ne), it’s major compatibility when they get lost in the depths of each other’s abstract thinking.
INFPs love human connection and seek beyond the superficial. Meanwhile, INTPs love digging deeper into introspection and the sciences. They often throw what-if questions that will surely challenge and grind each others’ minds.
Because both focus on cultivating the depths of concepts, it’s easy to find common ground. But what’s even better is that, because INFPs and INTPs come from different motivations, they bring out a new perspective that can fill where each other lack.
INFPs provide the philosophical, and INTPs provide the more realistic concepts. With these being said, it’s no wonder INFP and INTPs enjoy each others’ company.
2. INFP and INTP can be an instrument for each others’ personal growth.
When immature, this partnership can be rough. But as INFP-INTP starts to overcome the challenges, it results in wondrous personal improvements.
We’ve established that INFPs are guided by their emotions and faintly lean on what’s objective. On the other hand, INTPs could be too focused on what’s objective, and forget that emotions play a significant role, too, especially when dealing with others.
An INTP may often be blunt about their opinions and come off as rude to others. But in the long run, INFPs can teach INTPs how to consider other people around them.
With these empathetic Dreamers influencing their actions, an INTP would start to interact in a more socially acceptable way, especially with sensitive people.
They learn to read the atmosphere and be more gentle in their remarks. They learn to praise others despite seeing the imperfections or being more subtle about people’s limitations.
On the other hand, immature INFPs can be problematic, too. While INTPs lacked emotions, INFPs come off as too emotional to the point where an argument with them no longer makes sense. But thanks to their INTP partners, an INFP can learn to sort which remarks are personal attacks, and which are pure constructive criticism.
Sooner or later, an INFP learns to waive off unnecessary emotions and direct their cares and sentiments to things that truly matter.
INFPs have weak Te, so they learn to improve it from an INTP’s Ti.
INTPs have weak Fe, so they learn to improve it from an INFP’s Fi.
3. They find each other adorable.
INTPs find it hard to express their emotions. So when they finally do, INFPs love it!
Meanwhile, INTPs love to be proved wrong and be presented with a more logical perspective by their INFP partners.
Once both personalities grasp what makes each other tick, arguments start to decrease, and it becomes a wholesome partnership, overall.
The Struggles of the INFP-INTP Relationship
The INFP-INTP relationship can be enriching, but it is not without struggles. While on the surface, these two types may seem like a match made in heaven, some deep-seated issues can cause problems for this pairing. Here are some of them.
1. INTPs would want alone time, INFPs can be clingy.
As introverts, both understand the concept of “alone time.” They both have episodes of withdrawing from anything social.
However, as mentioned above, INTPs may be more likely to be introverted than INFPs. They’re indeed the “nerds” and would be dwelling in their calculating depths, rather than pleasing people.
So even when both’s love language is quality time, it shows differently between the two types.
Immature INFPs can be more clingy. Clinginess is not a character they show to others, but only to the person they love.
INFP will want to talk to their INTP all the time. They want to know what you’re doing and get updates about your every breath (kidding). That’s because INFPs want to be the person who understands you the most, and of course, it helps them connect with you.
This isn’t the creepy type of love you see, but it’s just how INFPs are — they’re so interested in everything because they treat you as part of themselves, too. They care.
Meanwhile, here comes the introverted INTP who simply wants his alone time and to be stuck in his own world. So what happens when INFPs want more time with them? They get frustrated and extremely drained. The worst thing happens when INTP can’t communicate this well and lash out the harshest words at their INFP partner.
Unfortunately, INFPs are sensitive about reciprocating their feelings, so if you can’t meet the same standards they set in your relationship, they will feel ignored and unloved.
Without a proper discussion about time and boundaries, this can pose a severe problem in INFP-INTP relationships.
2. INTP is too blunt, and INFP is too sensitive.
INFPs have a strong sense of self, are sensitive, and (let’s say it) don’t like being corrected. Even if they’re wrong, it’s better to pose your words as a suggestion rather than telling them they’re stupid, or what.
So if an INTP is not careful with his words, INFPs can easily see it as a personal attack.
With blunt talk, INTPs can easily press an INFP’s buttons, leading these Dreamers to go rage mode if their values are violated.
On the other hand, an INTP can be calm and collected during the conflict, but they also think emotions are irrelevant — which is taboo to INFPs.
INTPs prefer a direct way of pointing out their gaps, leaving no room for confusion. However, INFPs aren’t like that.
Each personality should learn to meet where their partners are at.
Here’s an example of an INFP-INTP conversation:
INFP: Ball weddings are so magical, right? What do you think?
INTP: We don’t have the budget for that.
INFP: *falls silent*
INFP: *tears fell* I’m just asking you if you like it.
INTP: I’m just telling you that’s expensive.
INFP: I’m simply asking if you like it!!!
Imagine how this simple conversation can go wrong in many ways. Conflicts in the relationship start when each type doesn’t consider the other’s feelings and motivation.
3. The Procrastinating Duo
Both are procrastinators. No, they’re not lazy. However, to the big decisions in life, they may tend to be stuck in their heads instead of taking action.
Moreover, both struggle with perfectionism and dislike failing, which leads to a long duration of procrastination. If one does not pull the other out of this loop, the relationship might settle with less than their own potential.
4. Both can be clumsy.
This one may not be a significant con, but I’ll add it.
INFPs and INTPs both have Extraverted Sensing (Se) function in their 7th cognitive spot. Because of that, they’re oblivious to their physical surroundings, making them trip, bump, and drop objects.
At home, they may not be the “clean freaks” who clean their rooms daily. Rather, they’re the “let’s leave everything for a month and then do a heavy general cleaning” type of people.
Travels can be difficult, too. Because it’s an effort for them to navigate, they get lazy about planning getaways. They would rather stay at home than get lost in new destinations.
So if they ever want to travel, they must either have lots of preparations regarding the place — study their surroundings and watch travel guides — or bring a guide!
INFP-INTP Relationship Advice
When these two personality types can find common ground—such as shared interests or values—they make excellent partners who work together towards shared goals while enjoying each other’s company.
Here are some tips on how these two personalities can manage their differences.
- The INTP partner should be more empathetic toward their INFP lover. Let them open up to you when necessary. Don’t lecture them (unless they ask.)
- The INFP should work on being less emotional when communicating with their INTP lover. See what’s true, rather than rely on what feels true.
- Learn to set boundaries, especially on each others’ alone time.
- When getting into an argument, an INFP must learn to pause and let their emotions subside until they can clearly express them in words. It’s the easiest way to get your point across to an INTP.
- INTP, think twice about your words. Sometimes, your bluntness isn’t worth an INFP withdrawing from you.
- On the other hand, INFPs should also learn to be straightforward with their thoughts, to avoid confusing their INTP.
- INFPs must learn to be assertive to earn the trust of their INTP partner.
- On the other hand, INTPs must work to be more considerate and caring towards their empathetic partner.
INFP and INTP love is an exciting one. We can say it’s a match made in heaven and surely one for the books.
The INFP and INTP are two types that share a lot of common ground but also have differences. This can make their relationship feel like a game of cat and mouse, but the game is quite fun for both partners.
When the INFP and INTP are in a relationship, they can bring out each other’s best qualities in a way that no other type of pairing can do. Each type brings something unique to their partnership, making it all the more interesting and exciting.
The INFP and INTP relationship can sometimes be confusing, but it can also be gratifying for both parties involved.
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