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How Do You Get an INFP to Fall in Love With You?

 Are you interested in dating an INFP but don’t know how to approach them?  Well, they’re naturally compassionate and empathetic. However, at first glance, they appear distant, unique, and private which makes them hard to get to know.

INFP means Introverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Prospecting. It’s a rare personality type among the 16 Myers-Briggs personalities. They comprise 4 to 5 percent of the population. And with such a sprinkling number, the extroverted world sees INFPs as hard to read and uncustomary.

But what should you do if you find an INFP attractive and want to take things further? How do you make such  Dreamer fall in love with you?

So… Here’s what you’re dealing with.

To be honest, it will take a boatload of patience to establish a connection between INFP and love relationships.

If you’re really interested in them, you should be cautious, aware, and sensitive. Because if you’re not, one wrong approach will lead INFPs to check you off their list forever.

Now,  if you’re really curious about how to be in a relationship with an INFP you like (the smoothest way), then I will gladly guide you through this blog post. First,  let’s proceed to know what INFPs think about love.

What do INFPs think about love?

INFPs tend to sort through the masses in search of a perfect partner. Like a director casting a role, INFPs evaluate every person who reaches out to them. Love and relationship, for them, isn’t something to play around with. They take relationships slowly but surely.

INFPs wait for the right person. They won’t risk their hearts to “try” if a relationship will work out. They must be extremely sure about their feelings.  We can hold back for months, or even years.

Moreover, INFPs seek the depth, mutuality, and genuineness of a relationship. We don’t fancy hookup culture. Instead, we lean on having emotional and deeper connections in a relationship.

To set an example, I have an INFP friend who, at 25,  never had a boyfriend.  She’s gorgeous, bubbly, and simple – truly likable. But when it comes to relationships, she never mentioned anything about her dating life.

The only thing we know is her desire to have her first boyfriend also be her last. That takes serious commitment and it would require a wholesome man to break through her fortress.

As lovers, INFPs desire to understand their partners deeper. They will find patterns about your likes and dislikes. They will try to see the whole picture from your perspective and see where you’re coming from.

Compromise will become the norm. As long as it doesn’t override their values, INFPs will forget about your mistakes and flaws.

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INFP’s love languages include quality time and words of affirmation. For us, it’s rewarding to see our partner’s smile during our company.

We laugh, cuddle, and goof around with the person we love. Dates become both memorable and fun as we balance between jokes and impassioned conversations.

Aside from becoming a partner, INFPs become your biggest fans and will root for your success. They will brag about you. Not in a conceited way, but oftentimes, in secret. You would hardly know how proud they are.

I often write about my partner in forums, comment sections, and my own stories. I love talking about him to my friends – his strengths, skills, and our growing relationship. INFPs view healthy relationships in rose-colored glasses.

How to Get an INFP to Fall in Love with You

If INFPs are cautious and picky with their friends, what more if you’re trying to pursue them romantically? There’s a narrow path on how to get an INFP to fall in love with you. Again, it’s not easy to win an INFP’s heart, but there are ways to get there.

As an INFP myself, I will share with you 7 things you should do to get closer and make an INFP fall in love with you.

1. Be authentic.

INFPs value honesty and authenticity. They admire people who are true to themselves and have genuine intentions. Ironically, intentionally impressing INFPs turn them off. We can’t deal with fake kindness and show-offs.

Chances are, INFPs have already stalked your social media. While they’re observant about how you treat them, they also take into account how you behave towards your family, friends, and animals. Again, be caring with the animals!

Keep it simple and real. INFPs detect lies and evaluate the coherence of your stories.

Once they find out you’re lying, it often leads to a bad turn. But once they discover how honest you are despite the ugly truths, you’re gaining their admiration.

But what if INFP dislikes your authentic self?

My, my… This is an issue. But before anything else, here’s an important disclaimer: some relationships require a lot of work to establish. Maybe your personalities align, maybe not. People have unique ways to handle their issues.

Even though INFP initially dislikes your traits, there’s still a possibility to make them fall in love with you.

I’ve been in a relationship with an ISFJ. At first, we were clashing. You know, iNtuitive and Sensing  Types tend to hold different viewpoints.

I saw him as prideful and rude against my ideals. It was like, “of all the guys who pursued me, why is this guy so rude?” I considered him a “red flag”.

But through time, I learned that staying true to his ideals wasn’t rudeness. He stood up for what he believes in despite losing my favor.

Although it was infuriating at times, I actually find his dignity and authenticity irresistible. For that reason, I grew to trust him more.

In these situations, authenticity towards an INFP can lift your relationship to great heights.

2. Establish a connection before confessing.

How to make an INFP like you? Establish a connection as friends. Don’t deliberately mention how you’re interested. From an INFP perspective, maybe I’ll respond with, “How the heck did you fall in love fast?”

And although you have honest intentions, INFPs would be doubtful and won’t take you seriously. We’ll see you as pushy and full of yourself. Sorry, but we’re not dealing with that.

Before asking out an INFP, make sure you have built trust. Here’s how you can establish a strong connection even when you started as strangers.

  • Ask them questions to talk about themselves.

INFPs latch on the listener role and rarely talk about themselves. And even when you ask them, their replies are vague. Sometimes, they turn it into a joke to see how much you’ll probe about the topic.

But what people don’t know is, INFP easily opens up to people who are genuinely interested to listen. Keep asking them and dig deeper into their stories. Eventually, an INFP will start to feel comfortable with you. 

  • Talk about abstract ideas

When you consistently communicate with an INFP, you would reach topics about dreams, goals, and life.

If they fantasize about future scenarios, just go with it. If they create what-if situations, share your views about them. So if you want an INFP to like you, try catching up with their visions and idealism.

  • Express your deep thoughts, too.

When an INFP has become comfortable, it’s obvious that they will be curious about you, too. Open up about your life. Tell your views. Sharing secrets is a technique.

To keep an INFP interested, let them discover things about you. Don’t just mention what you’re doing. Instead, describe what you think about what you’re doing – the emotions, the perspective, and your response. INFPs love it.

  • Appreciate their creativity.

I’m sure every INFP has made something creative in their life. For sure, they’ve written stories, painted, wrote poems, acted in theatre, and played music. However, these projects hardly surface to the public.

As an INFP, I kept my works a secret. When I was younger, I wrote anonymously online in fear that people would criticize my work. I only show it to people I trust hardcore.

So when an INFP shows their projects to you, exert extra focus on them. Read the story. Appreciate their style. They’re not only projects. They’re actually exposing their truest selves.

  • Impress them with your capabilities without being too braggy.

If you have talent and skill, then you can low-key impress INFPs. Make sure you don’t sound braggy about it. The best way to introduce your strengths is to let INFP discover it themselves. Maybe, we’ll learn your talents through social media, word-of-mouth, or by directly asking you about it. We’ll utilize our investigative skills, so no worries. Keep it humble.

3. Keep your connection private.

When an INFP talks to you in private but shies away in public, then there’s gotta be something going on in there. If you want to know INFP’s behavior when they like someone, read it here.

But keep this in mind. Although things are doing great between you and an INFP, don’t talk big about it with your friends. INFPs protect their privacy at all costs. 

  • Never share the conversations you had with your friends.
  • Don’t jump to conclusions about INFPs liking you back.
  • Don’t get so full of yourself.

As an INFP, publicizing our unofficial romance or connection strikes a raw nerve. I can’t count the times these situations made me furious.

Once this happens, I start to be cautious all the way back from the start and lose trust. I’ll never look at that person the same.

4. Give them time to sort out their decisions.

Never rush and corner INFPs. If you want to be in a relationship with one, then prepare a patient heart. This whole process will follow their pace, not yours. 

INFPs are serious about relationships. Some struggle searching for partners after their previous heartbreaks. It makes them extra cautious about who to trust next. They seek compatibility. They look way ahead and envision what the future’s like with you.

INFP will appreciate how you patiently waited for them. They are free spirits and would choose someone who respects such character. On the other hand, asking them for an answer right away stresses them out and pushes them to decline.

It will take time, but I assure you, your patience will be worth it once an INFP commits to you.

5. Don’t pressure them with material gifts.

While INFPs appreciate gifts from friends, receiving them from suitors makes INFPs feel obligated to respond.

Although you have good intentions, they will think you’re expecting something in return. As much as possible do not give them anything grandiose, yet. Save your surprises when you’re dating officially.

But as far as my preferences are concerned, I don’t like surprises, too. I don’t know about other INFPs, but for me, I’d choose quality time over any luxurious gifts.

6. Don’t ask favors.

This seems selfish, but it is what it is. Don’t oblige INFPs to do anything for you. 

INFPs are cautious of people who abuse their kindness. So if you want to remain in an INFP’s favor, don’t show them how they appear convenient to you.

They rarely ask for help. And they seek such independent traits from potential partners, too.

Good thing, this only happens at the first stages of entering a relationship. Once an INFP commits to you in a relationship, they help you all throughout. Your struggles will be theirs, too. They will support you until you reach success.

But before that happens, just please, don’t ask an INFP to do something for you. It’s a turn-off.

7. Be consistent.

Last but not the least, be consistent. When you tell an INFP you like her, make sure it’s true to the ground. If your feelings sway one bit, just a bit… it crumbles your good standing.

From my experience, I had a guy who pursued me on and off. The first time he told me we won’t work out, I stuck it in my mind. Although he asked me for chances, I never gave it. I repulse the fact that they play with my emotions.

INFP’s aren’t martyrs. Although they are forgiving people, second chances rarely come when we talk about relationships. So be consistent.


Usually, the hardest part about getting into relationships with an INFP is the getting-to-know each other stage.  INFP puts you into tenfolds of tests and you’re not even aware you’re taking it. While they seek your strengths, they’re also in the pursuit of your weaknesses.

While INFPs see the world in rose-colored glasses, the opposite happens in relationships. They’re cautious. They are afraid to be locked up in a relationship with the wrong person. 

However, once they truly resonated with you, it usually means you have the permission to nose-dive into their depth and shower with their overflowing randomness.

They will care for you more than anything else. They will look up to you and you become their greatest pride.

Again, to make an INFP fall in love with you, it will take patience. So you better hype yourself up because it might be a long way to go.

Thanks for reading. God bless! 

Are you an INFP dealing with procrastination? Grab your copy of the “Not Lazy, Just INFP” e-book. 🙂

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