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3 Ways to Keep INFP in Love With You

INFP relationships may have been one of the longest and most heartwarming relationships you will ever have. It’s no wonder. To INFPs, entering a relationship means accepting you as part of them.

Once these reserved INFPs commit to you, they will share with you all – their secrets, thoughts, pain, and dreams. Their openness alone describes how much you’re worth to them.

Because truly, nothing compares to the exclusivity an INFP can give once they trust you. You will gain access to their zone – resounding with warmth, empathy, dreams, and support. 

Initially, entering INFP’s sacred circle proves difficult, but once you break through their guards, it sure is hard to leave.

But what if one day, an INFP turns cold and distant? They may not say the words, but you would notice how their eyes lost the shine.

Now, it all leaves you questioning, why? What did you do wrong? Are they falling out of love with you?

In this post, let’s shed some light on this issue. Let’s talk about:

  • How do INFPs view romantic relationships?
  • What INFPs want in a relationship
  • What INFPs dislike in a relationship
  • Why INFP fall out of love
  • 3 Ways to Keep an INFP in Love With You

How do INFPs view romantic relationships?

INFP relationships usually start in a cryptic process. They’re cautious about opening up, yet they also send out subtle hints about their interest. Too subtle that it leaves you wondering if this INFP is into you or you’re only imagining things.

It’s frustrating, I know, but it’s their way to evaluate the genuineness of people’s intentions.

But once you break through their guards, it’s butterflies. They will shower you with support, become your venting place, and your peace. Quality time is their love language, so your happiness is their priority.

But how do INFPs view relationships? Will they give up everything in the name of love? Will they sacrifice a lot for their partner? Let’s see how relationships are under INFP’s lenses.

INFP’s view of love isn’t like the fairytales.

How do INFPs see love?

Unfortunately, INFP’s way of love is nothing like the fairy tales. Although these dreaming souls love fiction, unrealistic, and hopeless romantic plots, they don’t seek the same in real life. Instead, they are cautious, evaluative, and selective on who to trust.

Naturally, INFPs are deeply affectionate people. But once they feel abandoned, an INFP knows they would chase no one.

“I love you, as long as you love me.” Did an INFP ever say these words to you?

For these Dreamers, mutual love weighs a ton. If the person they love doesn’t feel the same way anymore, they won’t fight for it, unlike what teledramas portray.

There may be three reasons why they will not fight for love:

  • They have a strong sense of self-respect.
  • They don’t want to cage their partners.
  • They can no longer trust a person who leaves.

For INFPs, forced love and friendship will never work out. Love is not concocted. It’s something you feel within your soul.

INFPs are in love with how you make them feel.

As mentioned above, INFPs don’t chase a person for love. Rather, they are more attached to the feelings, emotions, care, and respect they receive in a relationship. Being introverted Feelers, INFPs always carry the question, “how do I feel about it?”

“This person shouted at me.” How do I feel about it?

“She underestimated my ability.” How do I feel about it?

“He canceled his plans to meet me here.” How do I feel about it?

Truth be told, INFPs don’t fall in love with the person, but they fall in love with the idea, emotions, and personality attached to a person.

An INFP may be attracted to you for the longest time, but once they see negative behavior, unproductivity, and inactivity, they retract their affection and lose interest.

That said, looks and physical attributes are at the bottom list for these free spirits. It’s always the attitude, mannerisms, responses, and mindset that they evaluate.

What INFPs Want in a Relationship (What makes them fall in love)

INFPs fall in love with how your words impact them, how you managed to read their emotions, and the warmth they feel every time they see you. INFPs are attracted to your talent, your skill, and your thinking. Your honesty, vulnerability, and motivation.

They admire how you interact with other people well, and how amazing you look to others.

They fall in love with people that adheres to their values, someone they can look up to, and also care for them. The strength, kindness, authenticity, confidence, and dignity – INFPs love these aspects.

Again, it’s not physical appearance. Instead, INFPs evaluate what lies beneath.

Other aspects that INFPs generally want in a relationship:

  • Respect for their values
  • A patient and understanding partner
  • A continuously growing relationship

What INFP Dislike in a Relationship

INFPs tend to attract narcissists and emotional vampires, but it doesn’t mean they are up for the challenge.

Although INFPs are known to be Healers, they are not romantically attracted to those who drain much of their empathy. INFPs are compassionate but would deviate when they sense abuse.

Even I almost had a relationship with an emotional vampire. I felt guilt in leaving him back then. But although many of my friends run to me for comfort and advice, that person was on a whole another controlling level. It took me months to leave the situation and I had to do some drastic measures, like disappearing from his life

What INFPs want in a relationship is balance. They will be there during your darkest times and they want to know what bothers you. But at the same time, they want to see you growing and moving forward – not someone who always retorts to self-pity.

Other aspects that INFPs generally dislike in a relationship:

  • Harsh criticisms from their partner
  • Insensitivity and lack of awareness
  • Challenging their values
  • Dishonesty and betrayal

Read Related Post: 11 Things INFPs Dislike and How They React To It

Why INFP fall out of love

These are some reasons why an INFP may fall out of love:

  • Unmet expectations

Broken promises, when piled up, eventually loses INFP’s trust and they would start to get tired of believing your words.

  • Cheating

INFPs resent living in deceit and hate it even more that they didn’t see it coming. 

  • Stress

Pressure doesn’t go well with INFPs. If they receive constant arguments, accusations, and lies in a relationship, they would rather detach than fight for it. From personal experience, dragging us back to the same issues every time is exhausting. I once said, “this is not the relationship I signed up for.”

  • Idle relationship

INFPs are affectionate, soul-warming, and supportive partners. However, they may fall out of love when the relationship has become idle – the same old routine, with unclear dreams, and a stagnant position in life. INFPs are idealists who feel purposeless about everything when stuck in a rut.

3 Ways to Keep an INFP in Love With You

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INFPs can be the most supportive, affectionate, and easy-to-get-along-with partners. But once the romance goes downhill, it’s truly a pain in the neck. 

Wondering how you can keep them in love with you? How do you win an INFP back and keep the love burning? I’ve listed ways on how to take care of your INFP so you can check out the link.

But in this post, I won’t write much about respecting, but focus on 3 major ways to keep an INFP interested. Take a peek at what motivates INFP in a relationship.

Disclaimer: INFPs are individuals who vary in experiences and are driven by various personal reasons. These tips may or may not work for all INFPs.

1. As their partner, you have to grow, too.

I can’t stress this enough. If you’re with an INFP, it’s best to not lose yourself in the relationship. Be the same passionate, driven, and motivated person your INFP first met.

When you dream, dream hard. INFPs love dreamers. Not to mention, they are idealists and are hardcore self-improvement enthusiasts. They value personal growth.

Building “passion-projects” will keep INFPs’ interest. When you start one, rest assured that they will always have your back. And while they thrive to fulfill it with you, you can see the relationship just gets deeper. Keep the passionate eyes burning.

They don’t care about the status you’re both in right now, but as long as you have a plan and a dream to fill, you will see how eager they are to help.

What creative hobbies do you like? What dreams do you want to build? Is it photography? A new business? Whatever it is, do it for you, and your INFP.

You may follow a separate interest and path from your INFP. But I must admit, INFP’s idealism is extensive. We get excited over other people’s success – much more over our partner’s. You won’t believe it, but even with the little things you achieve, INFPs will brag about it to people. You become their pride.

That said, dream together. Build together. INFPs see relationships as a life-long tag team. And as long as an INFP grows personally, financially, academically with you, they will wholeheartedly stick with you.

But on the contrary, when an INFP sees their partner lack dreams, it somehow cages them, too. It empties them that the person they first fell in love with – the person of talent, skill, and dignity – start to fade away, thus creating the feelings of falling out of love.

2. Stir things up from time to time.

INFPs are idealists who love new ideas and paving new paths.

While they retract to their old hobbies and habits, they also are idealists who love discovery, generating plans, and keeping a list of their goals.

To keep INFPs interested, it will be amazing to lead them to new experiences.

Discover new things together. Learn a new skill, play sports, travel to new destinations, or give them thoughtful surprises. The lack of growth impacts INFPs hard. Having a good balance between rest and action will make your relationship stronger.

3. Make their exclusivity evident (Show people you’re proud of them).

INFPs love it every time their partners win at life. As I’ve always said to my partner, “I’m your #1 biggest fan!” Because I am. I nailed that part.

But what makes INFP happier, is while you’re at the peak, you still look back to check on them.

INFPs want to be part of the process. They cherish the exclusivity you give them, as much as you’re experiencing the same exclusivity from them, too.

Genuinely appreciate their presence in your life. Maybe, a sweet post on social media will do. Don’t overdo it, though, to the point that it exposes too much of their privacy. Keep showing them you love them and they will reciprocate. 

But sometimes, what INFPs need is time to think and reflect.

If an INFP says they wanted to end the relationship, then maybe, maybe, they are only carried away with the overwhelming emotions. They are not losing interest but are just tired and exhausted.

Due to a rollercoaster of emotions, their decisions change from time to time. Nowadays, with all the stress and new information flooding in, I find my belief system and emotions changing at a fast rate. Yesterday, I’m breaking down, and today, I feel hopeful and revived once again.

The surge of emotions happens to INFPs often.

That said, let them breathe and process their feelings. When everything eases up and they have reflected on it, these free spirits usually reach out and apologize.



INFPs? I believe we make low-maintenance partners and I pride myself on it. We don’t ask much of material things. But what we expect is a reciprocating love centered on peace, growth, and compassion.

-M. Mathias

Actually, I wrote this in response to one of my reader’s queries. Hope this gives you an idea on handling your INFP. Thanks for reading!

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