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5 Most Common First Impressions INFJs Make On People

The Great Wall doesn’t only exist in China. Because every INFJ also has its own version of it.

Seeing the long, cold bricks of the Great Wall makes it intimidating for first-time tourists. Some would turn around and watch it from afar. While those who do walk along the walls end up loving it.

Similar to how strangers describe their first impressions of INFJs as being stuck up and intimidating, these introverts always seem to be the polar opposite of how strangers initially perceive them.

5 Common INFJ First Impressions 

Now, moving on to the most common first impressions INFJs make on people, let’s see if you relate to them, too! Here we go:

1. INFJs can look intimidating at first glance.

As an INFJ, I always hear the word’ intimidating’ whenever I ask my friends about their first impressions of me. So, I wonder, how come? I don’t see myself as scary and unapproachable. 

Then, my friends would always answer that it’s because I look polished on the outside. On top of that, they say I seem to radiate a cold, unbothered aura, which makes it difficult for others to approach me. 

But honestly, our cold aura is only a defense mechanism for us INFJs. We only appear intimidating because we’re not pretentious.

Nine out of ten times, you’ll find an INFJ away from the crowd. And it’s not because we don’t like people, but it’s more because we don’t need to talk to them to know their feelings. Since INFJs’ Extraverted Feeling cognitive function makes them great judges of character, these introverts have little tolerance for fake people.

INFJs are straightforward. They don’t typically engage in small talk since it’s typically insincere talk. That’s why they come off as intimidating because, unlike most people, INFJs would invest in friends who’ll reciprocate the same time and energy they give.

This may interest you: INFJ Stare: What Is It All About?

2. INFJs are too serious and nerdy.

INFJs overthink everything. Literally, everything. Whether it’s what food they’ll cook for breakfast or how they reply to a friend’s inquiry, these introverts overthink all their past actions and what they could’ve done right.

Additionally, INFJs also love learning. They’re naturally inquisitive and desire to acquire new knowledge every day. So, it’s not surprising that most INFJs’ favorite film genre is documentary.

Therefore, combining their massive stack of knowledge and their overthinking tendencies, INFJs’ way of opening up a conversation is by giving a fun fact. However, this way of small talk isn’t always interesting for other personalities. 

In fact, when INFJs do this, they affirm others’ perception of them as nerds who take everything too seriously. But once you get to know them, you’ll realize they’re not as serious as you first thought.

INFJs only love learning so much that they want to share their knowledge with their friends.

3. INFJs seem warm but distant.

Initial thoughts on INFJs revolve around their cold and intimidating demeanor. But, a huge chunk of people—mostly fellow INFJs—view these introverts as warm but distant. 

Other introverts, such as INTJs, share the same cognitive function of Introverted Intuition (Ni) as INFJs. These personalities gravitate toward people with the same intuition since they can see through people’s facades. 

That’s why they see through INFJs’ cold aura and look at these introverts for who they really are—warm and caring. However, INFJs still show distance when interacting with unfamiliar people. So, even with intuition, INTJs still view INFJs as distant.

Additionally, their warm but distant impression of people comes from their aversion to interacting when their social battery is low. What usually happens is when talking to an INFJ, you’ll feel that they’re giving you their full attention. 

However, you’ll also feel like they’re holding back on how they act toward you. This gives others the impression that INFJs are uninterested in them, which is not the case. INFJs always want to get to know people. But since their social battery dies down fast, their energy for socializing jas its limit every day. 

4. They are extremely polite.

INFJs hate rude people. They can’t grasp why someone intentionally makes other people’s lives harder when it’s already difficult. So, they make it a point to be accommodating and patient to everyone—even those they don’t have a relationship with—at all times.

This is also among the most popular impressions people have of INFJs since almost—if not all—INFJs are like this. Whether it’s someone younger, older, or less educated than them, INFJs always go beyond what’s expected of them to help out. 

For instance, personally, service workers have a special place in my heart just because I know how difficult their job is. And it breaks my heart whenever a customer acts rude toward them. So, I make it a point to always show gratitude towards them, even if it’s simply saying ‘thank you’.

5. INFJs come off as confident but reserved.

I can’t recount how often my friends and colleagues have thought I was arrogant only because I presented my skills when no one else could. But I get where this impression of us INFJs comes from for two reasons:

First, INFJs are confident about their knack for logic. We’re aware that our highly analytical skills are one of our significant assets. And because it is rare, our presence at work or school is relevant. And we know that since our macro perspective is unique, we can solve problems faster than others.

Second, we are aware that we are also highly empathetic. We don’t only consider what is logical. But also how it would impact our environment. So, when formulating solutions, we look at their holistic impact. 

INFJs know what they can bring to the table. Yet, mostly, we don’t voluntarily offer it unless someone asks us. And this is why a common impression of us is also us being reserved. 

INFJs know when to step forward and when to let others take the lead. 


INFJs’ first impressions can be summarized into three words: intimidating yet warm. 

INFJs appear cold because they like to set their boundaries, whether it’s physical or emotional. 

But once you get to know them, you’ll realize that this facade is nothing like how they really are. Initial impressions of them are the opposite once you get to know them.

It’s quite easy to break their Great Wall. You only need two things: honesty and genuineness. 

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