Skip to content
INFJ Vulnerability
  • Save

INFJ Vulnerability: How Can INFJ Overcome the Flaws?

INFJs are known for their introspective and reserved nature, often keeping a low profile. They can feel overwhelmed by excessive social interaction and prefer to spend time alone.

Despite this, INFJs are renowned for their accepting, empathetic, and attentive behavior when interacting with others. Referred to as “The Counselors,” INFJs have a unique ability to recognize and help others reach their full potential. 

INFJ and Vulnerability 

Despite their warm and tender exterior, INFJs possess a more intense and analytical personality. If you or someone close to you is an INFJ, know that you are creative dreamers who enjoy exploring endless possibilities and ideas.

Your inner world is rich with vivid insights, visions, symbols, and images of the future. You’re also known for your strong sense of morality in group settings, but you also have a logical side that drives your love for theorizing, inventing, and questioning.

The combination of INFJs’ visionary, analytical, strategic, and empathetic traits makes you a unique individual whose abilities can be utilized for positive or negative outcomes, depending on their ultimate objectives.

Like other personality types, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for INFJs. INFJs also have vulnerabilities that can trigger them emotionally, causing them to regress or escape with no intention of returning.

Knowing more about INFJ vulnerability can raise self-awareness and help you deal with it better. 

What are INFJs insecure about?

INFJs are susceptible to destructive behavioral patterns. In a society where introverts are frequently criticized, you must empower yourself to avoid these pitfalls and achieve success.

To do this, it’s essential to recognize and overcome three common personality pitfalls. 

While these pitfalls aren’t unique to you, INFJs are often encountered by individuals with introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging traits. By avoiding these pitfalls and embracing your strengths, you can be the best version of yourself.

Too high expectations of others.

It’s normal for you to set too high expectations of yourself. This expectation often leads you to do more for others than necessary. Since you do so much for the essential people in your life, you expect them to do the same for you.

If they don’t meet your expectations, you often end up frustrated. You feel that these people don’t care about you as much as you care about them. 

Since you set the bar high for yourself, you also quickly think you must put other people’s needs before yours.

Your desire to avoid others’ unhappiness can lead you to “rescue” others before they can help themselves, resulting in resentment, bitterness, exhaustion, and anxiety.

You tend to cut people off abruptly.

Your family and friends love your company because you’re warm, inviting, and kind. They feel good and welcomed in your company. All these make people feel at ease around you.

And since they’re that comfortable, it’s easy for them to open up to you. This explains why you have a lot of friends who confide their secrets to you. You also become their go-to person when they have problems. 

While this is a good thing, it also sucks your life out. Too much negativity can bring anyone down, which is precisely why you sometimes cut people off abruptly.

You can still empathize after cutting them off, but you often can’t get yourself to associate with them again. Some of your friends would accuse you of being cold-hearted and immature, and you also start to question why you did what you did. 

You can be overly detached. 

INFJs are known for their warmth and empathy. You typically avoid conflict and are willing to go to great lengths to care for your loved ones. However, you also have a limit, which can be reached sooner than some expect.

Feelings of betrayal can trigger this. That betrayal may not be as huge as a lover cheating on you. It could be as simple as not responding to your message with an emoji. 

Your demeanor might change when you enter a Ni-Ti loop or stop caring about others’ opinions. It’ll be easy for you to be more direct and detached. You may overwhelm others with a critical evaluation of their actions and a prediction of future failures. 

You may also become quiet and unresponsive to attempts for warmth or kindness. You may also make sarcastic comments to get others to leave you alone in these moments.

Some INFJs can adopt a detached and critical demeanor, potentially causing harm to their relationships. In such cases, you can become overly analytical, losing touch with your emotional side, leading to an imbalanced and one-sided approach.

How Can INFJ Overcome Their Vulnerability? 

Here are ways to deal with an INFJ feeling vulnerable about people and things around them. 

Understand that there’s no need to be accountable for others.

INFJs must understand that they are not accountable for the emotions of others. Their efforts to control and resolve others’ feelings may do more harm than good.

Empathy and consideration are valuable traits. However, control, self-sacrifice, and constantly seeking approval can be dangerous and harmful.

Love yourself more.

INFJs, it’s important to remember that the world doesn’t have a vendetta against you. Embrace self-love and push away negative thoughts. Focus on something positive about yourself and acknowledge your accomplishments.

Refrain from wasting your time and energy overthinking and analyzing someone’s actions or thoughts, especially when there is no evidence to support your assumptions.

When you find yourself getting overwhelmed, give yourself a motivational speech. Ask yourself, “What good comes from stressing over someone’s opinions of you? You can’t control it, so why waste time and energy on it?”

Then take a break, engage in a hobby, or spend time with loved ones. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and the people who bring joy to it.

Don’t take things personally.

As an INFJ, it’s easy to overanalyze texts, emails, or social media comments. We scrutinize punctuation and emojis and take things too personally.

This can lead to feeling hurt when a friend sends a brief, simple message without emojis or feeling paranoid when someone doesn’t say goodbye or greet us. 

To combat this, celebrate positive things about yourself. Instead of stressing over what others may think, remind yourself that you can’t control it and distract yourself with positive activities. Focus on the good things and people in your life.


INFJ fears hurting people’s feelings, especially those they truly care about. This is precisely why they hold themselves responsible for keeping these people happy and contented.

Unfortunately, their love, empathy, and care level wouldn’t be reciprocated the same way. This is where resentment begins. 

As an INFJ, you must be more accepting of others and loving towards yourself. Know that the people who genuinely love you will be there for you even if you don’t go out of your way to please them.

At the end of the day, the only person you need to please is the one staring back at you in the mirror. 

You may also like:


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *