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Comforting an INFJ
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5 Best Ways to Comfort An INFJ

As much as how great empathizers INFJs can be, lifting them up from a slump (emotional, mental, and physical) can be quite complicated as they usually have difficulty confronting and expressing their feelings to others.

This is especially true when dealing with negative emotions such as disappointments, anxiety, or anger. 

Need to figure out what to do when an INFJ is sad? Here’s a quick guide for you to know how to comfort your INFJ.

5 Best Ways to Comfort An INFJ

1. Listen and Understand.

Do INFJs like to be comforted? Maybe. Maybe Not. 

But I sure know that INFJs love to be heard. INFJs rarely verbalize what they have in mind. So by the time they share their thoughts, and people actually lend an ear, these idealists would most likely feel relieved.

The truth is, although INFJs feel a lot, they are not avid fans of communicating their own emotions, so they have tendencies to keep everything bottled up.

So, when they snap due to stress, toxicity, and injustice, they snap hard — even closing their doors to everyone and doing a classic INFJ door slamming to people who made them feel miserable.

When this happens, the best way to comfort them is to make them feel heard or seen. Don’t cut them off when they tell their story. Don’t try to solve it for them or give generic advice about what they’re dealing with.

Often, INFJs only need a good listener who would listen to their building-up rants and frustrations.

Related Post: 7 Ways to Care For Your INFJ Partner

2. Look into their perspective.

Another way to comfort your INFJ partner or friend is to try to dive deep into their perspective.

By trying to look at the situation through their lenses, INFJs will know that you are genuinely interested in understanding them.

The thing is, even when you can’t fathom and make sense of their reasons, keeping your presence felt during their lowest is something that INFJs, who value tight-knit relationships, appreciate. 

It comforts them to know that despite all the chafing destinations of their wandering mind, they have you as their company.

You may also like: How Do INFJs Feel In This World?

3. Respect Their Alone Time…

Like any other introvert, INFJs love their own time to recharge their social batteries.

When INFJs feel down, they will likely withdraw from interacting with others. In this case, give them some alone time to think.

As intuitives and feelers who can magnify the emotional aspects of their life, they just have to shut down for a bit, reboot their system, and have time to process the logical side of their situation.

INFJs are the most logical feelers, anyway. They just need time to make sense of their situation first.

4. …Or “Disturb” Their Peace

The other option to make an INFJ feel better is kinda the opposite: don’t leave them alone.

When an INFJ is in the dumps and has skipped caring for themselves, be someone who will disturb their silent yet harrowing peace. 

It could be dangerous when INFJs dwell too much in loneliness and start loving that place.

It takes extra effort and patience to wait for their ultimate comeback, but be consistent anyway. Even when your INFJ friend or partner doesn’t respond as positively as you hope, still try to lift them up.

Bring them back to reality. Affirm them. Listen. 

Do it over and over again. Pulling an INFJ out of the pit may take a while, but if you love that INFJ, you will never stop extending your hand, and yourself.

5. Introduce a Hobby or Comfort Zone

INFJs in distress would love to disconnect from the burden and obligations of their social life. As they detach from the world, you would find them driven by their hobbies, hermitting in the most isolated corners of the room. 

Now, know that most INFJs enjoy abstract and creative methods to de-stress. They have to vent their bottled feelings, and it’s often through creative expression. 

From journaling, painting, and museum-hopping to having the most peaceful room concerts — INFJ’s comfort zone would always be a place with no one disrupting their thoughts.

However, for INFJs who haven’t had a creative sanctuary, your role is to provide insights into those hobby ideas. 

Here are some INFJ hobbies you can introduce to your INFJ.

The cherry on top: it’s not only hobbies, but you can also bring them to a quiet scenery or a hidden spot you know will pique their interest. 


At the end of the day, the most important part of comforting an INFJ is to have them open up to you, and then trying your best to deliver what they are expecting. 

It can be through giving them the time of day, words of validation, or even leaving them to process their thoughts.

It’s important that you are there for them.


That’s it. I hope this helps you understand your INFJ. 

Thanks for reading! 🙂

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