Ghosters… I know, I know. No one likes them!
One second, they’re present, and the next, they’re gone. But not trying to look faultless here. I admit I’ve ghosted (a lot of) people in my life, too.
But per person, the reason for ghosting varies.
INFPs may ghost due to emotional burnout. INTJs, a lack of intellectual stimulation.
Then here comes INFJs.
While most of the time they’re welcoming friends, they may also have a cold side that will make you ask, ‘Why has this INFJ stopped talking to me?’.
And I tell you, being ghosted by an INFJ is hurtful, especially when you’re so used to their warm and caring presence.
Ready to find out why INFJs are culpable of disappearing, why, and how they do it? Then let’s start!
Why Do INFJs Disappear?
1. INFJs’ social batteries get drained.
You see, INFJs are introverts through and through, and are not always up for socialization.
Despite their extroverted demeanor and caring attitude toward people, INFJs remain independent and rarely rely on friends. When they don’t see the need to tag along, you can expect how INFJs just disappear.
Most possibly, INFJs would be prone to “making” valid excuses just to avoid going out. No, you can’t make a socially drained INFJ come out of their shells. They’re gone long before you realize it, hiding in the depths of their dim-lit room.
Let INFJs talk to people they barely know and see how that social meter dies down as quickly as a flash.
They can also get mentally exhausted by “trivial” matters such as worrying about their appearance, analyzing behavioral cues, or dispensing time to someone asking for too much attention.
So yes, if an INFJ disappears, it’s because they’re tired and deserve rest!
2. INFJs disappear when their surrounding gets overwhelming.
For INFJs, their environment is equally important as their personal peace. As social chameleons, what they feel depends on what others feel — the blessing and curse of being an empath.
The slightest change in their environment impacts their mood, happiness, and even anger. The bigger the event, the grander either happiness or stress becomes.
Say, an INFJ transitioning from undergraduate to post-college life can prop tremendous anxiety on INFJ’s shoulders. Changing careers or moving homes, too.
Remember, their comfort lies in routines. So when this happens, these idealists need to step back to let these changes sink in. They disappear to cope with stress.
3. When INFJs receive hurtful comments.
Despite being welcoming and open-minded, INFJs become closed off when they experience hurt from people they care about.
Like turtles, INFJs are composed on the outside but delicate on the inside. Hurt them, and INFJs hide under their shell and disappear from their wrongdoers’ sight, or even the world.
It’s challenging to spot a hurt INFJ as they’re incredible at hiding their real emotions.
So, how do you know if you’ve hurt them? Their willingness to communicate with you would seem like a switch turned off.
You’ll definitely know if you severed your connections with them once they stop responding and start declining.
Quality time is INFJ’s love language. So once they decline the many opportunities to meet you, there’s definitely a problem. Watch out.
4. They get caught up in their hobby.
INFJs love gaining new knowledge, and one way they religiously spend their time is by learning about new hobbies.
As passionate lovers of structure, INFJs can find fun in the mundane—crocheting, reading books, and staying home with dogs. And most of the time, they get so entertained with their newfound hobby that they forget the world around them.
It’s INFJs’ guilty pleasure to drown in their own worlds and hobbies and forget their friends entirely. (Kidding).
So if an INFJ talked about their hobbies to you and the next day, disappears, then you know where they are — at the corner most part of their room, obsessively writing the novel that kept them awake all night.
Time to pull them back to reality, my friend!
5. INFJs ghost to avoid confrontations and feeling the guilt of leaving.
Romance-wise, INFJs ghosting their dates and friends isn’t new. While the more mature ones are likely to give you an explanation, the immature ones are like… WHAM! Bye, I’m outta here.
Why? To INFJs, it’s better to just disappear than have the other person reason out.
Not because they’re mad or anything, but INFJs know that having the other person explain their side leads them to give more chances, despite them wanting to leave from the get-go.
Ugh, the struggle of being an empath.
INFJs hate, HATE, confrontations. Although they know they have the absolute right to cut connections, the guilt could eat them once the other person speaks up.
So what happens? They would rather ghost than confront.
6. INFJs see your true intentions.
Thanks to their intuition, INFJs can see through someone’s pretentious acts. They would rather be friends with blunt and unapologetic people than two-faced fakes.
And once INFJs spot you faking them, they won’t call you out. Rather, they’ll distance themselves from you. It’s more amusing for them to watch a person make a fool of themselves.
So, before befriending an INFJ, make sure your intentions are pure towards them. Be honest about why you like them. They appreciate honesty more than fake kindness.
7. You’ve been door-slammed.
One day, the kind and caring INFJ disappeared from your life. The kind and caring person cares no more.
It happens abruptly, and people find this side of INFJs confusing and uncalled for. If you think you dissipated to thin air from your INFJ friend’s perspective, try to backtrack how you treated them.
INFJs are notorious for slamming their doors to people who have caused tremendous hurt in their life.
One day, they realized they can forgive no more. If you have been door-slammed, unfortunately, INFJs have decided never to let you in inside their life again.
Will an INFJ Come Back?
If you’re worried about an INFJs’ sudden disappearance, you should remember these two tips: give them space and let them return to you.
INFJs may ghost people but rest assured, they come back. Although the longevity differs per person, I can attest that they only need time alone with themselves—unless they personally reach out to you.
They need time to reconsider their life decisions. And as introverted Thinkers (Ti), they prefer to examine life alone rather than ask for other people’s help.
Ironically, INFJs who disappear because of hyper-fixation tend to last longer than those dealing with personal issues. Their in another dimension by that time, so don’t disturb them!
On the contrary, INFJs dealing with hurt or mental health issues tend to isolate themselves. But would later on reach out to their friends for comfort.
So, don’t worry if you think your INFJ friend won’t come back. Because they will. Unless you’ve offended their principles boundless, they’ve decided to cut you off from their lives.
Why do INFJs disappear from their friends, family, and significant others? There are three answers: lack of interest, personal growth, and emotional hurt.
INFJs are empaths. And the last thing they want is to hurt the people around them. They know full well how that feels.
But even these sensitive introverts have limits. And once someone, an event, or a problem pushes them too much, they resort to disappearing to cope.
You may also like:
- INFJ Vulnerability: How Can INFJ Overcome the Flaws?
- 5 Best Ways To Comfort an INFJ
- 3 Reasons Why INFJ is Lonely (And How To Overcome It)