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Are INFJs Good Partners?
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Are INFJs Good Partners?

INFJ is one of the rarest personalities in the world. Most of the time, their actions, especially toward the people they love, are way out of the ordinary. If you want someone to stay committed despite the odds and without the rose-colored glasses, go for an INFJ partner.

They may be picky and idealistic, but they see their partners as they are and love them still. With an INFJ partner, you can look your worst, show your mean side, and even be vulnerable, but they’ll still love you anyway. If that doesn’t make them good partners, I don’t know what else will. 

INFJ and Relationships

INFJs are good partners. And I can attest to this. 

I’m a true blue INFJ — an introvert who cares too much about others around me, keeping the peace, to the point of sacrificing my convenience. This trait is particularly evident in my interactions with my family and friends. Never did I think I could go beyond this, not until I met someone I fell madly in love with. 

Yes, INFJs are overthinkers, which manifested through my relationship with my ex-partner. INFJs may fall in love fast, but our decision to let someone into our lives results from a careful and thoughtful process. 

Looking back, I remember when I met my ex. Truth is, I wasn’t physically attracted to him, but I warmed up because he felt like “home” to me. 

I tried to fight my feelings in the beginning, thinking of every possible reason to give my feelings up. However, after letting him incessantly occupy my thoughts, I gave in. I figured I couldn’t take him off my mind because I overthink everything about him. 

Are INFJs good lovers? 

Yes, they definitely are! Because they’re good at reading people, INFJs become very thoughtful partners. Despite being perceived as guarded and emotionally reserved, their knack for understanding others often comes as a pleasant surprise to those around them.

Sensitive INFJs often have difficulty putting themselves first because they’re empathetic and kind. They’d rather sacrifice than see their loved ones suffer. 

I vividly remember constantly thinking of ways to express my care toward my ex-partner. From sending him sweet good morning messages to reminding him to eat on time to even leaving work to eat lunch together — I often went out of my way to make him feel loved. 

I was all over him, which showed how I cared, which initially seemed cute and endearing. Unfortunately, with all that affection, he eventually grew tired of it. Instead of reciprocating, he told me that having someone constantly check up on him was suffocating. Rather than feeling loved, he said he felt useless. 

To INFJs in relationships, this can be a case. 

To be honest, INFJs can be obsessive and possessive when in a relationship. Since they invested too much time, effort, and emotion in someone, they won’t give it up quickly. 

I’d recall getting mad every time I texted him, and he wouldn’t instantly reply. I expected him to answer if I called as if his life depended on it. That was my love language. Unfortunately, for him, that’s plain and downright suffocation. I felt misunderstood

But despite all these, it wasn’t bad. However, when we broke up, he moved on to someone else. It didn’t last, though, because he found himself comparing me and how much I cared for and loved him, against his new partner.

He told me he couldn’t find someone as dedicated, dependable, and giving as me. He asked me back several times, but because we both remained unchanged even after every breakup, our relationship “comebacks” also always ended in another breakup.

So are INFJs good lovers?

Ultimately, it depends on how much the other can give and receive. INFJs are good partners — even martyrs who fight for love. However, their serious dedication and devotion may not be everyone’s cup of tea. It always boils down to the depth of connection and allowing them to be truly your “better half.”

Are INFJs Romantic? 

Romance is every INFJ’s love language. They take their commitments and relationships seriously, so they’re always thoughtful and sweet. When they date, they see their partner as their possible spouse, so casual flings have no room in an INFJ’s world.

This is one of the reasons why they devote themselves to making their partners feel wanted and nurtured.

Even if I was the woman in the relationship, I often planned dates and made sweet gestures for my ex-partner. I succeeded in staging a surprise birthday party for him, inviting all of his family members and friends, meticulously planning the details, and allotting a massive chunk of my savings to make that day unforgettable.

Simply put, as an INFJ, I did everything I could to make my special someone feel that he’s indeed exceptional.

I do little, but sweet gestures like sending him food to cheer him up, and inserting notes with motivating words, or messages to make him feel better during a bad work day. I heard his colleagues would be jealous of how much his girlfriend spoiled him. So, with all these, I confidently say that INFJs are romantic.

This may interest you: 9 Secret Behaviors INFJs Do When They Like You

The INFJ Boyfriend 

Like their girl counterparts, an INFJ boyfriend is one of the sweetest in the world. They would go to great lengths just to see you smile and do things they know you would appreciate, thanks to their empathetic nature.

You are on their mind from the moment they wake up until they go to sleep. When an INFJ loves you, they will move heaven and earth to make you feel it. 

If you want a boyfriend who remembers every little detail about you, an INFJ is your guy. As serial overthinkers about making you happy, they become attentive to their loved ones. If they see a difference in how you act, they’ll think and rethink it to figure out why.

They’re emotionally nurturing. And honestly, most of the time, they’ll conclude they did something wrong because you’re acting differently. Thus, they always make it a point to listen and be super sensitive to your needs.

INFJ boyfriends love to spend time alone, but they’d give up their alone time to be with you. Why? Because you’re their favorite person. They love spending quality time with you because you make them feel at ease and in love. 

They can drop anything when you need them. Do you want something to eat? They already figured that one out even before you said it. Do you want cuddles? They’re there. If you’re sick, you can expect them to constantly check up on you, take care of you, and even spend time with you.

The INFJ Girlfriend

An INFJ girlfriend is a keeper. They are loyal, faithful, and committed because they date with the intention to marry, not to fling. Even after years, they still find new reasons to be in awe of you. It’s like discovering hidden gems about their partner every day.

During my nine-year relationship, I can confidently say that I remained loyal and never even considered cheating on my special someone. At first, I found it weird that I never felt attracted to anyone other than my ex. But I realized I was just madly in love with the same person for years.

I gave up my nightlife and other things that would cause misunderstanding. I also cut ties with people who disapproved of our relationship. 

I was incredibly devoted, to the point where I neglected my own needs. I spent most of my money on him, leaving me with only spare change. I learned that INFJs are too generous to a fault. If there’s one thing I would have done differently, that would be to love myself too while loving my ex. I guess our relationship could have lasted longer that way.

An INFJ girlfriend would want nothing but the best for her boyfriend. She could be his protector, source of strength, mother, sister, friend, and lover.

Her dedication to her loved one is unparalleled. But if you break her trust, their words can cut sharper than a knife. They may be lost and intoxicated in love, but they’ll move on quickly if they regain their levelheadedness. 


An INFJ loves differently. They’re willing to sacrifice themselves to comfort the person they love. They are not afraid to cut off people who disapprove of their relationship or constantly criticize their partner. They will also do everything they can for their partners, never doubting their feelings. If they’re with the right partner, they can forge a relationship that could last a lifetime. 

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