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INFP Flirting Style: How Do These Dreamers Flirt?

How do INFPs flirt? Dang, do they even do that? Well… sort of.

INFP flirting is like a slow burn. At first, they might seem reserved, but once they feel comfortable and trust builds, they eventually open up and show a side you didn’t initially see. They may send subtle hints using metaphors, humor, and indirect approaches — all to express romance without being vocally blunt with their emotions.

If you’re close to an INFP and trying to know their take on flirting, then let’s discuss this further.

As an INFP myself, with an INFP partner, and surrounded by close INFP friends, I’m here to drop a wee bit of our secrets.

Ready? Here we go!

Stage #1: INFP Flirting In The Early Phases of Acquaintance

Let’s get this straight. More than trying to flirt with someone they like, INFPs’ default is to conceal their emotions and desires, especially when they’re not close enough to hold deep conversations with you.

Here are INFP’s responses to infatuation:

◉ Stealing glances, but no eye contact. 

Do you know what’s faster than the speed of light? It’s INFPs swiftly turning their heads away after stealing a glance from someone they like

Adding an unemotional look and a good distance, no one will suspect them liking anyone — not even their nosy BFFs. I tell you, our blabbermouth friends can give us heart attacks, so it’s better to keep them oblivious of the fact.

Letting anyone know about our romantic life is the last thing we want.

It’s a secret for INFPs to keep, not something to be announced and teased about. 

◉ Avoiding the person they like.

Remember when your high school classmates screech excitedly at the sight of a budding romance?

While it’s a joyous memory, INFPs don’t exactly like it, especially when their feelings are revealed first.

It feels awkward. Pressured.

Somehow, cheering and pushing people to be a couple feels unnatural. While this is a chance to get a boyfriend/girlfriend for some, doubts like “Did you just like me because you knew I liked you first?” may pop up in INFP’s mind.

To ward off teasing or meddling in their affairs, INFPs can even go to the lengths of ignoring the person they like.

This may interest you: 8 Secret Behaviors Female INFPs Do When They Like Someone

◉ Na-ah. Not Gonna make the first move.

Technically, what I described earlier hardly qualifies as flirting. 

Given the private nature of INFPs, it’s highly unlikely they’ll take the first step toward something they’re uncertain about. 

They value mutual affection and interest, but usually, mutual love doesn’t happen overnight. So, no, they won’t make the first move unless they know your and their true feelings.

However, things will improve as you grow closer to an INFP; don’t worry!

Let’s see what happens after you initiate a conversation and connect with them a step deeper.

Stage #2: INFP Flirting (Talking Stage)

◉ Okay, they’re still a bit skeptical and unassuming.

Let’s say you also found an interest in INFP. Will they flirt back?

Well, not so fast. INFPs tend to be skeptical and unassuming. You can’t just confess and then expect them to flirt and reciprocate immediately.

They need time and effort — lots of it! — to discern your true intentions, character, interactions with others, etc.

“Am I being made fun of? Is this guy serious?”

“Did she mean it when she said, ‘I love you?'”

They know you’ve confessed and would take your word for it. But deep down, they can be in denial, too – denying your true intentions, turning down your invitations, and laughing it off every time you flirt with them.

They’re skeptical of accepting it and returning with words they don’t really mean.

Although they may want to flirt back, self-restraint still reigns among INFPs.

◉ Subtle flirtatious comments

Let’s say you’ve invested enough time to earn an INFP’s trust. Then, good! You’ll soon see how INFPs are actually amazing flirts without them realizing it.

What makes INFP flirting more thrilling? It’s the progression. It took a long while for them to drop their guards, and so when they do, it feels like stepping into a new stage (if you’re patient enough to reach this point, that is).

INFPs may begin to sprinkle in subtle flirtatious banters. They’ll randomly join in with your initiated romance, catching you off guard.

These romantics express flirting through metaphors, jokes, games, whispered compliments, or double meanings – playful comments that’s suggestive of something more but aren’t too deliberate and straightforward.

They flirt in a way that sparks your curiosity and slightly taps into unrevealed and unsaid emotions of passion and willingness.

Hinting, but not completely conclusive. They probably like you, but not frank enough to admit it in words.

◉ Trying to impress

Let’s note that although you’re in the talking stage, it’s possible that INFPs may still not be comfortable enough to spend time with you alone. I know because, as an INFP, I’ve hidden too many times from those people, too. (Sorry…)

So, while INFPs may show care for you in private through texts or other means, they still tend to avoid public displays of affection or close interactions with you.
However, if they’re inevitably in your presence and find interest in you, they may feel compelled to impress you.

When you’re nearby, they might just light up, showing off their brighter side. You might catch them being so expressive, and maybe excelling in their favorite sport or hobby while stealing quick glances your way to see if you’re noticing.

◉ Indirect invitations and “coincidences”

I don’t know if this can be considered flirting, but boy, INFPs can bring themselves closer without your notice.

Say, an INFP guy might invite other people to an activity, hoping for that one chance you’ll participate. Or generously treat everyone, knowing their kindness will extend to you, too. They suggest games for the opportunity to get to know you better.

They may devise “valid excuses” to be in your presence, such as volunteering to be your guide on a trip out of town or inviting you to go to a common friend’s party (in case you don’t have anyone to go with.)

My INFP partner, a close friend then, asked me what gift I wanted for my birthday. Despite being close friends, I declined. Duh, I’m not one to impose or take advantage of others, especially my friends.

However, he insisted, mentioning that he had already gifted another friend a Taylor Swift album and planned to give birthday gifts to everyone in our friend group.

The condition’s so alluring, it convinced me. I requested a noise-cancelling headset!

However, during a getaway, I witnessed our friend pay up for that album. Turns out it wasn’t a gift after all! Lol.

◉ Still won’t make overt advances

Despite the growing closeness, INFPs remain cautious about making overt advances, preferring to wait for the other person to take the lead. They value mutual love, so nurturing a relationship that values depth may take considerable time.

Although they might chip in subtle flirting moves here and there, they wait for an absolute sign that you’re on the same page and are willing to take the relationship further.

Older, mature INFPs may be more vocal and straightforward about their intentions, perhaps due to their past relationship experiences.

Meanwhile, INFPs who don’t have experience yet typically require more courage to confess their feelings.

So, if you want an INFP to make overt advances, maybe you could give them more obvious hints? Help these guys!

Stage #3: When An INFP Fully Reciprocates

◉ Straightforward, finally!

The only time an INFP would be straightforward with their feelings and openly admit their admiration is when they’re sure about this relationship.

At that point, all the emotions they’ve been holding back, along with their genuine love, come to the surface.

More than flirting, they express declarations of love. No more second-guessing. Nothing but genuineness.

However, since INFPs love brewing excitement in the relationship, they may still engage in playful and indirect flirting at times.

But don’t worry. They’re no longer uncertain about this. Rather, it’s how they keep the passion burning!

◉ Bubbly INFP

INFPs become more open and talkative in the presence of the person they like. As they find comfort in you, it’s like unwrapping a new side of them — a freer and talkative INFP who also desire quality time and some sweet, intimate physical contacts.

◉ Sharing their creativity

Creativity is something personal for these Dreamers. They express their genuine emotions through their crafts — the happiness, sadness, dreams, and even anger.

Once you’ve reached a new stage in your relationship, they let you inside their colorful, booming inner world.


Overall, the INFP flirting style often begins with a tendency to retreat or shy away. However, as trust is established and emotional barriers are lowered, they can express their interest and affection through subtle gestures and interactions.

This gradual shift from avoidance to subtle flirtation reflects INFP’s desire to build genuine connections. They seek deeper, more meaningful interactions. Although it’s a long process, a healthy relationship with them is gonna be worth it. 🙂


I hope you learned some insight about INFP’s approach to flirting. Thanks for reading! ^^

Did you like this post? You can buy me a coffee. 🙂

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