9 Ways to Take Care of Your INFP Partner

Aside from being a rare personality, INFPs may probably be the most unique type among the 16 Myers-Briggs personalities.

I don’t mean to gloat over INFP’s uniqueness. But INFP’s “different” is somehow an alluring INFP quality for some. They are childlike, yet wise. Compassionate, yet nonconformists. Gentle, yet strong-willed.

In this extroverted and kinda insensitive world, the free-spirited INFPs are a breath of fresh air. Their love for peace transcends in relationships which makes them affectionate, caring, and long-term partners.

I’m not biased about this just because I’m an INFP. But honestly, it’s not very often that people find such soul-warming partners.

I received e-mails from my amazing readers asking how they can keep or win back their INFP partners. This proves that even when INFPs hold differing views from the norm, these free spirits are nurturing beings who leave a heartwarming impact on people.

How to Take Care of Your INFP

If you want to keep a long-term relationship with an INFP, then first and foremost, take their emotions into account. It’s the top priority. INFPs feel extreme emotions from overexcitement to emptiness to more immense emotions. Realizing how sensitive they are and how they absorb both positive and negative feelings will be your key to keeping them with you.

Important disclaimer: Although INFPs share the same personality type, remember that we still are individuals who have varying views, experiences, and beliefs. This may or may not be true for all INFPs. This list is mostly based on my friends’, acquaintances’ and my personal experience as an INFP.

How to make INFP happy in a relationship? Here are some ways to take care of an INFP:

1. Never shout at your INFP.

Long arguments? INFPs don’t like them. They would rather keep quiet instead of engaging in needless conflicts. However, the worst move you can do with INFPs during heated arguments is to shout at them.

People, you do not shout at INFPs. These gentle souls are sensitive about your choice of words – and even tone – and take everything at a personal level. Since they cultivate deeper meaning, they also have a knack for understanding human subjectivity and can read intent.

Unfortunately, shouting at an INFP is a switch that shuts them down with utter disappointment. It’s downright disrespectful, yet INFPs would not think about shouting back. Instead, they walk away from you, pondering how they don’t deserve that kind of treatment.

2. Give them time for themselves. They need lots of it.

INFPs are affectionate partners. But although they love to be involved in whatever you do, what INFPs need in a relationship is also time for themselves. Lots of it.

In most times, they need quiet time to do literally nothing.

INFPs are conceptual wanderers. You may have seen them spacing out but the truth is, their minds are constantly reeling and diving into their rich and creative inner world. There’s never a dull moment in their heads.

INFPs use their quiet time for self-reflection, planning out, visualizing their goals, or just plainly imagining a dreamland. Imaginations and visualization takes a huge part in INFPs. It can take them hours but they never get bored of it. So if you want to make your INFP happy, understand that they need alone time to exercise this side of them.

In addition, INFPs are introverts who get drained from too much external stimulation. But because of their strong connection to their feelings, an overload of emotions sticks with them for a longer time. Such overwhelm leads them to shut off doors and disappear from the world.

For overwhelmed INFPs, attention is the last thing they wanted. So for those who have INFP partners, although it’s frustrating, it will require patience to wait for them as they recharge.

Related Post: Why Do INFP Suddenly Disappear?

3. Respect their space. 

INFPs have the initiative to extend a helping hand, join parties, or involve themselves in events. If they like the idea, no one can stop an INFP from doing so. However, forcing them out of their shells or pressing them to socialize and make friends, actually eliminates the light in INFP’s eyes. They don’t respond well to forced obligations.

Share your ideas and invite them. Eventually, if they find the need to include themselves, they will volunteer. But again, forcing them to get out tends to be a bad experience rather than an explorative opportunity.

4. Never make your INFP feel unwanted.

In relationships, INFPs stick to people who stick with them. They are a sweet bunch who will care for you and include you in their every decision.

But here’s a warning. Never make them feel unwanted. Even if they’re head over heels in love with you, they are not the type to chase you around if you leave them behind.

I can attest to this. In the past, I shed tears because the person I’m interested in left and told me the relationship won’t work out. Although I was disappointed, I never confronted, reached out, or dropped him a message despite how much I missed him. Painful but INFPs can suck it up.

Well, it turns out he was trying to test if I’ll reach out to him. But I didn’t.

And that’s a dreading truth. INFPs wouldn’t chase people who leave them.

While INFPs feel emotions deeply for their partners and may cry over the little things, they also have a strong sense of self-respect. If you want to keep your INFP, don’t make them feel like they’re unwanted or taken for granted. Unfortunately, they may not bring good results and an INFP will distance themselves more.

5. Never lie to an INFP.

INFPs forgive but they don’t forget. Outright lying hints INFPs that you’re capable of it anytime. As a result, they slowly lose trust.

I vividly remember the lies I was told to. I can’t seem to forget all the severe dishonesties I received in my life – both in friendships and relationships.

For INFPs, betrayal is a heavy cross to bear. I remember being lied to, and although my previous partner was devastated and apologetic about it, it didn’t work against my atrocious indifference.

When you lose INFP’s trust, they legitimately don’t feel a thing, it’s scary. I scare myself sometimes, I don’t understand it. It’s a constant mumbling of, “I don’t have anything to do with you”. The INFP’s empathy switches off and they will disappear for days.

Always be honest with an INFP. They would rather hear the worst news, rather than live with the lies.

You may also like: INFP Forgiveness: How to Regain INFP Trust?

6. Guide them through their indecisiveness.

INFPs are idealists. It will surprise you how they can multiply one idea into a number of random plans. Unfortunately, this makes INFPs extremely indecisive.

But when I say, “guide them through it”, I don’t mean, lead them the way. Frankly, even if you present them with the most logical path, I doubt they would follow it. 

Instead of pushing them to choose one, just lend them an ear and share your thoughts. In the end, let them decide on their own.

If you are determined to help and want to make them happy, you can guide them through experiential learning. Experience makes INFPs more decisive. Help them fulfill their Plan A-Z until they can sort things out. During these indecisive times, they need support, firm backing, and unwavering patience from their partners.

7. Listen whenever they vent out.

INFPs vent out a lot to their partners. During these times, what an INFP needs is a listener rather than a lecturer. Sadly, when an INFP gets lectured during their emotional state, they instantly feel misunderstood and invalidated.  

Don’t make them feel like you’re judging them or you’re brushing them off. INFPs are reserved and laidback but also are independent-minded. Being lectured on and being told what to do is off-putting for INFPs.

If you keep on lecturing them, they would learn to bottle up these emotions instead of opening up to you. This path is stressful for INFPs and will harm the relationship in the long run.

8. Appreciate their creative works.

INFPs are known to be private and secretive about their life. So when an INFP shows you their projects, they actually are revealing their truest selves. If an INFP says, “Hey this is a story I made,” they actually mean to say, “I poured my heart here and you’re the only person who gets to read this. Please like it.”

Affirmations and appreciation boost INFPs’ confidence. Your subtle words and reactions will mean a lot to them. On the other hand, harsh criticisms from their partner bring about self-doubt.

The best way to take care of your INFP is to always be kind and gentle with your words. Because truly, they will treat you with the same sensitivity and concern.

9. Don’t invalidate their emotions.

INFPs often come out as gentle and laid back. However, once an INFP shows their disappointment, they don’t do it to look cute, win an argument, or get pity to take what they want.

When an INFP gets disappointed, they mean it – mean it to the core!

Back then, I lashed out my disappointment to a previous partner. Instead of apologizing, he brushed me off as he genuinely thinks giving me food will ease my anger. “Come on, I’ll buy you food,” he said. It blew my fuse in an instant.

People need to understand that material things don’t attract INFPs. For them, it’s the thought and intent that matter – not money, not food, and not the grandiose surprises. INFP feel things – a lot – so hearing them out will actually make them feel happier and contented.

Overall, INFPs seek peace in relationships.

In whatever path and form, INFPs settle in a relationship that gives them peace of mind. However, peace of mind is easier said than done, especially in a world where toxic relationships are constantly on the rise.

They need a person they can vent out to, and will also vent to them. They pursue a reciprocating and patient relationship, and a person who can be their best friend.

INFPs don’t ask much of material things. But they do ask for your respect, loyalty, understanding, time, and affection. Because truly, these abstract things are all they will offer to you, too.

People think it’s not much, but there’s a reason why many INFP relationships remain strong and healthy. It’s because INFPs care about what people tend to forget – that relationships must not only circle around love, but also internal peace.

-M.Mathias

This is how you take care of your INFP. Thanks for reading! 🙂


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2 thoughts on “9 Ways to Take Care of Your INFP Partner”

  1. Hi, I agree all of these but I have a question. When Infp wants to get closer but also wants to run away somehow, how can I reach them?
    I am not sure how can I show my love, sometimes my feelings are too much for them and I don’t want to scare them away.
    I don’t know what I am doing wrong.
    Thank you for your words, your writings always help me.

    Reply

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