“Authenticity is erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world.” — Adam Grant
I believe INFPs are the heart of humanity. Their childlike lenses bring forth colors and encouragement. Their wisdom and deep understanding lead to more compassion. They are known for their rich inner worlds.
But often, much of their brilliance hides beneath the surface. Little did INFPs know, their best influence happens once they bring those inner treasures into the outer world.
In this post, we’ll talk about 6 situations where INFPs step into their most authentic selves, translating their Neverland into reality.
Ready? Here we go!
6 Situations Where INFPs Are Truly at Their Best
1. INFP at Their Best: Free From Social Anxiety
INFPs are at their best when they overcome their fear of people. Yep, you read that right.
With their Fe-Villain shadow, INFPs often shrink from brief interactions with those they’re not close to. Asking feels distressing. They hate burdening others or saying the wrong thing.
Unaware of this fear, many younger slowly distance themselves from people.
As for me, I used to think I didn’t need anyone. They were slowing me down.
In 2020, I quit my job, ran away from the grasp of anyone trying to control me, worked from home as a writer, and bought into the “be your own boss” mindset.
But time proved me wrong.
My so-called freedom was short-lived. Yes, I was free from the eyes of people, but I was stuck in the four walls of my room for four years.
With no one to engage with except my family, my growth idled.
The skills plateaued. My ideas were recycled twice, thrice? Far too many times, because I got no new inspiration to draw from. It was like my creativity froze in 2020.
My world shifted as I hit a wall and meditated on this truth.
I realized how the sense of community would take much of this weight off. Maybe I’d be less lonely, and be more productive and experienced if I let others in? Maybe.
I began my journey. The quiet lone wolf stepped out and began making friends.
I showed a side I never laid out before.
I found another job. A church. In 2024, I went out more times than I did in the past four years and met new people.
I started revealing my flaws one by one, too.
Despite everything I did to cover up my weaknesses when I was younger, I want to be seen now. I want to be heard.
I don’t care anymore if people judge me. Well, I judge, too. Let’s call it quits.
To my surprise, the more I embraced others, the more they embraced me. I learned that giving and receiving go hand in hand.
That being too self-sufficient only had kept me isolated and resentful.
Those four years taught me that INFPs, at their best, aren’t limited to a few distant friendships. They’re not stuck in the comfort zone of people they’ve known forever.
Rather, they’re expressive. They reach out to others. They might not enjoy everyone’s company, but they’re not afraid to face anyone this time.
Now that I’m freed from social anxiety, I speak when I want, share when I choose, and ask if I want to ask.
And if I have nothing to say, “awkward silence” no longer faze me.
I got out of my bubble and learned to cooperate with people from different walks of life.
This won’t fail you. Socializing continues to sharpen an already wise INFP.
Related Post:
- 5 Effective Tips To Make Friends as an INFP
- 4 Behaviors I Fixed As An INFP That Made Me More Confident
- 4 Practices That Helped Me Overcome INFP Anxiety
- How INFP Can Overcome the Anxiety of Revealing Themselves
2. INFPs at Their Best: When They Can Freely Express Themselves
INFPs are at their best when they stop hiding things about their life.
Believe me, I know the sickening feeling when someone pries into your private life. It’s even worse if they find out a kept secret.
My weaknesses used to embarrass me. I didn’t want people to know I’m struggling financially.
My failed business attempts were marks of my failure. I buried them where nobody could find the traces.
I’ve also wrestled with impostor syndrome. I wanted people to assume I knew everything. I didn’t want to be looked down on.
So, instead of admitting I didn’t know, I’d spam my Google search bar, seeking all possible answers for one question. That or I’ll consult someone I know who wouldn’t judge my stupidity, like my INTJ father.
One contradiction among INFPs is they loathe being figured out but ache over being misunderstood.
What a conundrum.
So fellow INFPs, I want to encourage you. This is the time to stop hiding.
If you’re a self-sufficient adult, you’re in the driver’s seat of your life. Even if you’re flawed, you’re still in control of it.
Even if you have weaknesses, you’re still valuable.
Build a habit of just admitting your weak sides instead of pretending. It doesn’t make you anything less.
Rather, it’s related to #1.
A person who admits they lack something seeks help and builds connection and relationships. Not to be a burden to others, but to be a bridge to one another.
A give and take.
The strength of an INFP is not in their privacy. It is the ability to have peace in expressing their authenticity — who they really are from within.
Expressive INFPs welcome help in areas where they lack, but are also expressive about the strengths they can offer.
3. INFPs at Their Best: They Are Ultimate Encouragers
Have you ever seen your troubled friend brighten up after a deep talk with you? That’s not a coincidence.
INFPs have a mystifying hand in encouraging others. They offer a strange but deep sense of hope.
Unlike others who affirm their friends with empty praises, INFPs don’t say what you want to hear, unless they genuinely believe it.
I once watched a video of a cheerleader doing a backflip with a spotter’s help. She landed well.
Her friends cheered, saying, “She didn’t even need a spotter!”
“She never does!“ Another girl added, affirming her supposedly awesome backflip.
The spotter left, trying not to be awkward. The cheerleader tried again, and this time, unfortunately, failed the backflip and hurt herself.
That was a false affirmation. Meant to be supportive, but it missed the mark.
INFPs, thankfully, aren’t like that.
They wouldn’t praise you just for the sake of it, but at the same time, they see potential. INFPs genuinely get invested in someone else’s growth and journey.
They visualize what’s possible for others even before others see it for themselves. They see how you’re trying hard. That it’s good enough.
And if a friend’s struggling, they’ll be right in the trenches with them. They cry and fight, too.
Contagious optimism and weird sense of hope are such beautiful INFP traits.
After a deep talk with INFPs, it would feel like home. It’s a heartwarming experience.
So INFPs, never lose your shine.
I hope we continue to overcome social anxiety and be more expressive.
People need the light we hold. This is INFP at their best.
4. INFPs at Their Best: When They Think of Themselves Less
An INFP should strike a healthy balance between their rich inner life and their connection to the outer world.
A good mix between introversion and extroversion.
Because when they’re stuck in the past (Si) or are too unbending with their morals (Fi), they become their own harshest critic and most closed-off bunch of people.
But when they stop rewinding embarrassing or painful memories and look at people for who they are, not through the INFP’s towering moral lens, they start connecting with the physical world (Se) and meaningfully interact with people (Fe).
See, I’m a background type of person. I was praised for being kind and gentle when all I did was to be quiet.
But in my head, I’m definitely the main character.
My inner life streams a 4K-quality storyline about how I felt, why I was offended, and how I was brushed off by a teenager who thinks he knows everything. *eye roll*
I dive into a world filled with meanings, and I’m always at the center of it.
Everything’s about me, me, me.
But the older I get, the more I’ve learned that, hey, the outside world has stories, too.
I’m not just a character in mine; I am also part of others’ stories.
Once we realize that, we step down from our idealized pedestal.
When INFPs think of themselves less, trophies, recognition, and glamor don’t matter. They simply want to genuinely impact and benefit others.
They start to be cooperative, not aloof. They share what they have with people, without thinking, “how about me?”
INFPs who think of themselves less become generous to everyone, not to a selected few.
They don’t close doors to people they dislike but accept people as they are, even if the beliefs are different.
When INFPs think of themselves less, sensitive remarks that used to offend them start to sound empty.
Do not think less of yourself. But think of yourself less.
You will be appreciate the world better.
5. INFPs at Their Best: When They’ve Discovered Their Strengths and Purpose
INFPs often feel directionless at first, overwhelmed by their many skills.
But once they experiment with those skills, they begin to see what truly clicks and what doesn’t. An intimate connection with their core gift helps them realize how to use their faculties right.
For example, self-reflection has always brought me joy. Although writing was my first outlet, I eventually discovered teaching is another powerful way to share my insights.
How about you? What are you good at? What’s your playground?
Knowing which areas you naturally win keeps you from berating yourself for being mediocre in other aspects.
From my experience, anything that deviates from these core gifts feels forced. I may try hard in these areas but fail.
But with our true talents, winning seems effortless. Even if people criticize the work, and it stings, our gift continuously draws us back to do it again and again.
An INFP at their best isn’t chasing success in someone else’s lane.
They’ve found their own path and are playing by their own rules. They enjoy completing tasks despite the stumbling blocks.
At the end of the day, they’re reminded where they’re meant to be. There, they feel most alive.
6. INFPs at Their Best: When They Build with Structure
Being Te users, it’s an innate trait for INFPs to get excited about systems, schedules, and productivity plans.
Admit it, you’ve also created a strict regime to improve yourself! Remember the list of goals and daily schedules you set? My bedroom walls are filled with it.
Only that, we abandon them the next day.
In this case, INFPs must establish self-discipline. And they need to experience what it feels like to “finish” something so they’d have a reference when repeating a process again.
Everything feels easier with a template or a guide. A structure.
Publish one book, and the next novel feels less intimidating. Why? Because you now know how to do it.
Complete a five-day fast; suddenly, an eleven-day one doesn’t feel impossible.
You just need proof that a structure works and eventually repeat the process.
An INFP at their best is consistently finishing tasks one after the other. Not just acting on their whims and abandoning tasks whenever they want.
Show up even when you don’t want to. Establish self-discipline.
That’s when the dreamer becomes a doer. Visions turn into projects. Thoughts become impact.
With structure and self-discipline, an INFP’s rich inner world is finally shared, expressed, and lived.
Takeaway
At their best, INFPs are not just floaty dreamers. No, they’re not mushy, cutesy characters you’d love to squish.
Rather, an INFP at their best are grounded visionaries.
They stay true to their values while learning to express them in action.
Instead of hiding in their inner world, an INFP at their best connect with others. They finish what they start, and live with quiet strength.
That’s it! Thanks for reading. 🙂
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