INFJ overthinking is more than just drowning in worry. Rather, it’s a more structured and analytical kind of thinking.
See, INFJs don’t like vague, formless thoughts. With their Ni and Ti functions, their instinct is to analyze, categorize, and seek coherence in the mental clutter.
They want their ideas to make sense, to fit within a mental framework.
And as they try to make sense of the world around them, they also question their own motives.
These idealists had to contradict their own beliefs, and obsess over logic gaps. It can feel like an unending internal debate.
They refine their thoughts until their perceptions match the presumed conclusion. It’s the compulsive need to rationalize and perfect every thought.
This is how INFJ’s overthinking behaves.
Perceptions Bend Towards A Crafted Judgment
Again, INFJ’s cognitive functions include Ni dominant and Ti Child. It’s the natural instinct to perceive information (Ni) along with the obsession to rationalize them (Ti).
But since Ti is INFJ’s child function, it’s not just basic rationalization. Rather, they uphold their conclusions with high regard, protecting them like it’s their child.
Ti Child shows how, yes, they are being reasonable, but the attachment to their conclusions can be quite emotional.
I have experiences with INFJs where it’s hard to sway them once they believe in something. Regardless if it’s untrue.
For example, it was the day before Valentine’s Day. My INFJ friend had consecutive bad experiences with her ex-boyfriend during this special event.
With her new partner, she carried the same belief. She already concluded what’s gonna happen the next day. That it will be ruined, again.
You bet she was overthinking, crying, and scared about it. And alas, the Valentine’s came, and it truly was a disaster.
However, it’s not because she predicted it. Rather, she self-fulfilled it by bending her perceptions to fit the earlier judgment.
She judged his boyfriend for joking around with their co-workers, and was waiting for his clueless man to turn it all around because it’s Valentine’s Day.
It took the whole morning for his man to realize something was off. She was already crying and hurting until lunch.
Unfortunately, it’s not only my friend. Many INFJs are notorious for judging situations based on a preconceived conclusion.
And as they look at an ugly future, they become fearful, overthinking idealists.
What INFJs Overthink About
Let’s explore the two most common themes that trigger INFJ’s overthinking spiral:
Relationships: They Fear Losing People They Love
INFJs care intensely about the people they love. They form deep emotional bonds.
But with this depth of feeling often comes a shadow: the fear of betrayal or abandonment.
INFJs fear they’ll be left behind. Or that the person they love might lose interest, etc.
Due to this, INFJs find themselves overanalyzing texts or re-reading conversations.
They obsess over a change in someone’s tone or behavior.
Followed by thoughts like, “Did I do something wrong?” “Are they pulling away?” “What if they don’t feel the same anymore?”
Sometimes, they’re wrong. Often, they’re right.
This fear can sometimes manifest as possessiveness, not in a controlling way, but in a desperate attempt to preserve connection.
This is one heck of an overthinking matter for INFJs.
Failures: They Dread Falling Short
INFJs have Extraverted Sensing (Se) as their inferior function. This means they may harbor performance anxiety regarding real-world tasks.
INFJs put their best foot forward. But when things go wrong, they blame themselves for not preparing enough or not foreseeing a mistake.
To avoid this, INFJs overthink their future actions and plans. They solve problems that aren’t there yet. They craft possible scenarios and solve it.
The amount of thinking alone… It’s like INFJ’s minds never shut off.
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7 Tips to Stop INFJ Overthinking
Based on our topic above, overthinking is second nature to an INFJ. But is there a way to stop it?
If you want to calm your mind, then here are practical ways INFJs can stop overthinking:
1. Know When It’s Unhealthy Overthinking
Overthinking, for an INFJ, is simply a form of “deep processing.” It’s natural for these analytical beings. However, sometimes, you have to pause, especially when you’re doing these things:
You’re going in circles.
Sometimes, no conclusions are being formed based off of what you see right now. Hence, you’re simply repeating your thought process over and over again with no end.
If you catch yourself doing this, you have to let go. Do not be so attached to understanding everything.
I tell you, you will go crazy.
Some things are meant to unfold naturally.
Fear overwhelms you.
I know the future scares you. Sure, you can prepare for the future.
But once you’ve done everything in your power, let it go already.
Overthinking it further can kill your joy. It might even build fear.
When you sense you’re going in that direction, take a pause immediately.
You feel more drained than clear.
Tired of concluding nothing? Then stop thinking about it.
Just do what you can within your sphere. If it’s job-related, do whatever you can and leave it at that.
If it’s relationships, give them the freedom to mind their own business without you trying to overthink and overcontrol.
Sometimes, it drains you because you want to reach a conclusion. Or you want to understand something, but the world isn’t cooperating.
In that case, stop. Don’t force it. Just drink your tea and wait for things to unfold on their own.
Be patient.
2. Set Your Overthinking Time
Set your overthinking session for a later time.
For example, your boss told you you’ll have a meeting with him next week. Overthinking during your work hours might leave you drained and worse, still conclusion-less.
So to save time and mental energy, set it aside. Perhaps consider thinking about it at the end of your shift.
Or plan about it on a Saturday so you can mentally prepare.
Not every thought needs to hijack your day. You can overthink at a later time!
3. Write Down Your Thoughts
This is helpful for analytical personalities such as INFJs. It’s simple. Write down your thoughts instead of trying to keep tabs mentally.
Putting your thoughts into words helps your mind reach clarity more quickly.
Self-correcting problems is easier when it’s outside your head.
Draw Fishbone diagrams, Venn diagrams, tables for pros and cons, or checklists.
This will frame boundaries in your thoughts.
Heck, INFJ brain loves boundaries. They love the period in a sentence. Closures. Frameworks. These Ni users crave conclusions.
So make sure you write your thoughts down.
4. Choose the Thought That Reigns Today
You see, you can control your thoughts. You are in a library, and you’re free to get another book if the first one you got makes no sense.
As I mentioned earlier, you can save overthinking for another time. Then, shift your mind to something else.
For example, an event’s coming. You already did the preparations and checked off the list.
To avoid overthinking about it, direct your mind to something more fruitful and attainable at the moment. Like cooking a new recipe!
5. Toning Down on Ti
Intuitives are guilty of always being inside our heads.
But as for me, an INFP, I’ve mastered getting out of my head. I do feel like I turned into a Sensor sometimes.
What I did was tone down my Si-child. I understand now that not all the events around me are meant to be saved in my memory bank (Si).
As I stopped it, it stopped triggering my emotions (Fi). I rarely get dragged back into “thinking and imagining“ mode. I no longer get trapped in Fi-Si loops.
In the same way, INFJs can try “parenting“ their Ti-child, too.
That means you tell your Ti-child, “Hey, not everything is meant to be analyzed. Some things are better enjoyed in the moment. You don’t need to always stamp it with a conclusion!”
Easier said than done, but if you get it right, you will have the ability to turn off your overthinking mind for a moment.
With that said, you pause at taking in unnecessary information (Ni), simply because you know you won’t process it. Do you get me?
This gets you out of the analysis-paralysis Ni-Ti loop.
6. Take Meaningful Action
Now, what if you don’t want to put off overthinking. Instead, you really want to gain clarity and understanding about a certain situation?
I understand that INFJs hate conflicting and incoherent narratives with a passion.
But at the same time, you can’t comprehend everything in one single sitting. You can’t “think it through” all the time.
In these cases, taking actions can also unlock answers.
As you make your move, reality will offer you more data points to give you clearer perspectives.
7. Redirect Your Mind to a More Hopeful Path
When your thoughts start pulling you into a dark or anxious place, gently reroute them.
Ask: What’s a more hopeful story I can believe right now?
With my experience with unhealthy INFJs, they can be harshly pessimistic, and they disguise it as being realistic.
Like, whatever uplifting story you tell them, they will always find a way to turn it around, until you’re sitting in the dark pits with them.
This is why objective truths are important for the sanity of people. You have to hold on to it.
You need to establish a solid foundation that won’t fail you.
In this ever-changing world, you have to seek something that won’t change and will give you hope.
Is it your mom? Do you trust science? Your friends’ advice? God?
Well, I could say I’m more peaceful now because of the Bible.
How about you? Find a strong belief system that anchors you.
Conclusion
Now, INFJs often overthink because they have a deep desire to understand and align with others.
They try to make sense of everything.
But while this internal process can be insightful, it can also become exhausting when left unchecked.
You have a gift. A critical mind. However, I also understand that it has both benefits and drawbacks.
That said, INFJs must learn how to control their faculties. Improve it your perspectives, how you react with people, and how you manage your thoughts.
And remember, you’re allowed to pause the noise inside your head. Live the moment. 🙂
That’s it! I hope this gave you insights about INFJ overthinking. God bless, and take care! 🙂
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